Law of Attraction: My Whole Life Sucks…Where Do I Begin?

Today I am happy to answer some law of attraction questions from one of my awesome readers…

I am trying to sort my life out and long story short, I spend a lot of time alone or at a job I really don’t fit with. I am single but hate it, however better that than with the wrong person. I don’t seem to get in to a social group as being the single one I suppose I make people uncomfortable….or something. ….who knows…..one person even told me that if I start seeing someone I can go out wih her and her partner….so…..I am trying to make my life work by shutting off negativity and cultivating positive emotions.

How can I make sure I get it right? I don’t want fame and riches, just to find a job I am good at and like, friends and someone to be with.

I tend to attract idiots…and so have stopped those vibes happening…but the rest eludes me….
Any advice on getting it right for once would be most gratefully received.

When you get a whiff of a concept like the law of attraction, you may want to tackle every problem in your life immediately and get that hot mess straightened out once and for all. After all, all you have to do is think some happy thoughts about what you want instead…easy peasy.

But as many of you have discovered, the theory of manifesting and how it plays out in the real world can be quite different because of that good old resistance—limiting beliefs, fears, and all that good stuff. When we have all that, it usually just won’t go away because we want it to, because we now understand it is ‘undesirable’.

Then there is the good old mind trying to apply the teachings from the space of wanting to control everything—it doesn’t understand this way of operating doesn’t really fly when it comes to deliberate creation, and we make things way harder than they have to be. We overthink things way too much; we become unhealthily preoccupied with our emotional state and thoughts.

And when you throw in being displeased with multiple areas of your life, it seems even harder to get things right energetically; you feel even more discouraged about the chances of things getting better; you are even more anxious about making sure you are ‘doing’ it right.

You Can’t Get It ‘Wrong’

The last part of her question noted the desire to get it ‘right’ and it is so important to know you can’t get it ‘wrong.’ The law of attraction is not a tool to be utilized—you can’t use it properly or improperly.

We are not creating from a space of doing—the realm of doing is the realm of ‘effect.’

And this includes all the ‘work’ we do to manifest, such as doing affirmations, or working a program. They are meant to facilitate energetic transitions, and in that respect are very useful.

But in and of themselves, have no power. No matter how much you ‘do’ you won’t see any real change in your life if your ‘being’ isn’t changing.

When we try to change our life on the level of action without addressing the root causes—the energy driving us—it tends not to go very well. That is why trying to change an undesirable behavior through sheer willpower to not do that thing anymore seldom works, for example.

Our inner world is the realm of creation, and that is what drives any action we are taking, and determining the results of said actions.

Being a different way is really no more difficult than making the decision to be different, to believe different things, to act a certain way, trusting reality will catch up this new vibration eventually, and mirror back something different to you.

It is about trusting that sense you have stumbled upon a very powerful truth when you came across the idea that we create our reality, that we are infinite beings, that we are supported by a loving Universe that is designed to work for us, not against us.

But because of our resistance, this is a decision we need to make over and over again every time we catch ourselves engaging in the ‘old way’ of being. It would be great to just have to tell ourselves once and we magically adopt a whole new belief system, and way of moving through the world, but it’s unlikely to happen.

And it’s okay…we have to make peace with the fact that this transition is a process.

When we consciously make that choice over and over, and get into that energy on a more consistent basis, our reality has no choice but to conform to this energy. There is nothing we need to ‘learn’ or ‘figure out.’

We are not tasked with ‘doing’ anything in particular to make sure it ‘works.’ We can’t mess it up.

Don’t Worry About ‘Doing’ Right Now

When there is a lot in our life we want to change, our mind tends to jump right to action—there’s a lot that isn’t working for us, so we better get moving on fixing things. But remember what I said about actions taken when energy has not been addressed.

You may create some temporary fixes and relief, but it will be short-lived. For example, nothing is stopping you from walking into your job you hate and quitting. That can certainly effect change in your life, and can get the ball rolling on lining up with a better job. Doing that wouldn’t be ‘wrong’ or a mistake.

But if you are now drowning in terror about how you are going to pay your rent in a few weeks, have absolutely no idea what type of work you truly want, and haven’t examined your inner world at all to see how you ended up with a job you hated so much in the first place, this process is going to be a lot more painful than it has to be.

And there is a good chance out of desperation and fear, you’ll end up getting another job you don’t like, simply to make sure you have some money coming in again. And you’re right back where you started.

When it really starts to sink in that our life is created at the level of mind, it begins to make a lot more sense we start there, and that we don’t have to jump right into actions to make change, that we don’t want to, unless of course, the action is being driven from a place of alignment with what we want.

But most of us aren’t aligned, or we would already be in more pleasing situations, so that is priority number one.

So, if you don’t know what to ‘do’ to fix things, or you feel like there are actions you want to take, but they don’t seem feasible right now—like quitting your job when your finances are already precarious—it’s all good.

You want to work on your inner world first anyway because that is what is going to create real and lasting positive change.

When you start working on your energy, the most effective and beneficial actions will reveal themselves. The ‘being’ will pave the way for the ‘doing.’

You’ll see solutions to problems that couldn’t make their way in previously. You’ll meet people who will help you in some way. You’ll get inspired ideas. You’ll gain clarity about what you really want and the best way to go about getting it.

This higher vibration will carry over into all areas of your life, and everything will start taking care of itself without you having specifically devoted a lot of attention to each individual problem.

Getting to the Core

Any manifestation we don’t like in our life is merely a symptom of a larger, more general energy. It really doesn’t indicate we have any sort of energetic ‘defect’ in that area of our life specifically, though it can sure seem that way to our mind.

And this nugget of law of attraction wisdom can be especially helpful for people who are stressing about multiple areas of their life.

You want to think of each issue and break it down a bit. What is lying at the root? There is a good chance that there are some core beliefs, fears and feelings that pervade all these different areas, like not feeling good enough, for example.

And when we can identify that, and work on shifting, it will become much clearer to us how to go about changing; it will become much clearer to us what we really want, the essence that lies at the root of each individual desire we have.

Because remember, no matter what you want, you are after a feeling. I think I have mentioned that a few hundred times before, but just in case you forgot.

So…

I think you have definitely seen a common theme running through the different parts of the post, which is it all starts by going within and seeing what is happening there. But I know what our mind really wants—it wants to know what to do.

It wants to bypass all that messy work of examining your inner world and wants to fix it with action. But if you want to be a deliberate creator of your life experience, and actually get more of what you want in your life, you have to abandon the old way of thinking, where we believe action is the core of what creates our experience.

And it is also important to remember that doing this inner work is taking action, it is the most important and effective action you can take, hands down.

Your Turn…

What did you think? Anything resonate? What advice would you give? Looking forward to your comments as always.

Also, wanted to let you know that you can still register for the Manifesting a Relationship series through this week. After signing up, you will receive the recording for the first call and the assignment.