Like I have said many times before, learning about the law of attraction can feel like a blessing and curse. This information was hands-down the most pivotal in transforming my own life.
But, once our mind gets a hold of the teachings, there can be a tendency to totally overanalyze how to ‘do’ it right. We may begin to obsess over our emotional state and freak out about every bad mood, blah day and negative train of thought. We feel a lot of pressure to ‘get happy.’ We have various emotions and we don’t know what to do with them.
The role of action in making things happen from a law of attraction perspective is very, very different than the perspective most of us have been ingrained with, in that our energy is the primary determinant of our experience, and any action we take should be in alignment with that high-vibing energy and feel good, right and light.
The more traditional view holds it as the key tenet. You gotta ‘make shit happen.’ You have to work hard. You need to have a plan, a strategy. You must try to control and force to ensure your desired result. All the hard work is what actually makes you deserving of getting what you want.
And because these two ‘schools of thought’ are so diametrically opposed to one another, and the latter is so deeply ingrained, adopting the former can be a bit slow-going. It may make sense to us on some level, but as for going full-bore, probably not.
This post was inspired by a comment I saw on another blog. I thought it covered a lot of stuff that many people could relate to, and I personally related a lot because of some energies and changes I have been experiencing lately, so I wanted to share my thoughts. I reached out to the person asking if I could use her comment in the post and she said I could.
Lovely lady said…
I understand intellectually how to apply this stuff. I get that there is some sort of emotion I’m not letting out. But what do you do if you don’t feel anything?
I rarely feel angry anymore. I’m very familiar with anger and if I feel it come up, I do whatever I can to let it out so I can move on. But what about that “meh” or “blah” or whatever you want to call it feeling?
Is there a cycle of doom involving the void? It seems like no matter what I do, I always fall right back into this feeling of not wanting to do anything.
It’s like I don’t give a crap if I’m broke and in debt for the rest of my life. I know intellectually that isn’t true, so why do I keep coming back to this place? Do all of the emotions along the ladder have potential to become stuck emotions?
How am I supposed to get rid of this? I get how you release anger, but how do you release “nothingness”? I try to allow the feelings to the best of my ability, but it’s hard to sit around doing nothing (which is what I WANT to do right now) when you have a job, a child, a husband, bills. I guess my question is: How do you ALLOW the void when you have to continue living your life, yet all you want to do is shut out the entire world and play video games for 2-3 weeks straight?
There were a few things in there that I will address in the post…
When You are Just Feeling ‘Blah’ and Don’t Care about Anything
Of all the ‘negative’ emotions that us law of attraction people freak out about, I think this one can freak us out the most. This feeling of not wanting anything, not caring if get the things we want anymore, not caring if we even feel happy is triggering that part of us that obviously does still care about all these things, that still wants them very badly, that is still convinced the active ‘wanting’ is somehow a necessary part of the manifesting equation (it’s not…trust me).
And when we are in this state of apathy, it believes that we have basically given up and nothing is going to change. And these conflicting energies can leave us feeling very unsettled.
In my own experience, this blah state would rear its head when I really had been attached to certain things happening, when I was trying a lot harder than I may have realized to control something, when I was glossing over emotions in the name of ‘focusing positively.’
While I may not have been fully aware of the extent of these energies, that didn’t diminish their power, and I would eventually reach a point where I would get triggered by something; and my reaction would make it clear as day as to how I was really feeling and how much resistance I was carrying around in its various forms.
The release would come, I would get sick of the situation, sick of wanting whatever it was, and this neutral state would kick in, with some leanings towards negativity. That’s all fine and good.
Continually Going Back to ‘Blah’ Could Mean….
Lovely lady had mentioned in her comment that she thinks there must be some emotion she is not dealing with. Often times that is anger and she states she has gotten comfortable with letting that out so what gives?
Obviously it can be different for everyone and perhaps there is some emotion not being expressed. But based on my own experience, there may be another possibility. I have often found hidden emotion wasn’t so much the issue, but rather, not owning up to how I felt about certain things in my life.
There was a reluctance to admit how I was truly feeling about things that were bothering me. Actually admitting something out loud just felt too uncomfortable…it would actually make it real.
On some level I was very well aware of what I was really feeling, but I was good at pushing it down or rationalizing to a point where I made myself believe that wasn’t how I actually felt, and it was just a ‘moment.’
It might be scary to truly admit our marriage isn’t working. Realizing you really hate the job you spent tens of thousands of dollars educating yourself for doesn’t feel great.
You are working really hard to build your online business, all the while realizing you have totally lost your passion for the niche, but the idea of starting over completely would mean all that has come before was a total waste (it’s totally not), and it’s terrifying. That success you crave is going to take even longer than it already has been,( not true actually) and you don’t know if you have it in you.
Sometimes the implications of making the changes we would need to make, or doing what we want to, are really big and scary. We may not be ready to travel that road yet.
All of this ‘stuck’ energy can keep us feeling pretty blah because the ‘blah’ can offer some sort of protection from facing these things. By not caring if we are happy or if we get what we want, means not having to try to change anything.
The desire to feel better and to make all the yuck go away may kick off another cycle that leads us down the road of ‘trying’ really hard to manifest, getting really attached to certain things happening, ‘forcing’ ourselves to feel better, and we break again and go back to ‘blah’ when the pushing gets to be too much once again.
Doing Nothing is Not Actually Doing Nothing…
That feeling of not wanting to do anything is one I am very familiar with, and recently, I have been feeling like this quite often. The pull to do less and allow myself the indulgence was really strong and I knew I was being led to it for a reason.
And I have been honoring it, and it’s been working quite well for me. I allow myself to take a nap, read a book or binge-watch a series on Amazon when the mood strikes. When inspiration strikes to do something, I do it. When I don’t feel like doing something, I don’t.
If I felt a pull to write this blog post tomorrow instead of today, I would have. That I typically post on Monday and not Tuesday wouldn’t have mattered one bit. The world wouldn’t have come to an end.
I have a mind too and it fights me on this at times, but I know the real deal, and its proddings affect me less and less over time.
Allowing myself this time to just ‘be’ without any agenda, without feeling like I should be working on my personal development, my blog or whatever else, has given me lots of clarity. Lots of great ideas have been born out of this ‘nothingness’ like my teleclass series I have been doing for the last six weeks.
Seeing certain manifestations come in, it becomes more and more obvious how little a role we really play in bringing out the things we want in our life. The importance of only acting from a space of inspiration becomes clearer and clearer, and confidently saying ‘no’ to uninspired action gets much easier over time.
The key to getting the most out of this ‘nothing’ time is to really go all in when you do allow it. If you are like lovely lady, and you have other things pulling at your time, and you can’t do nothing full-bore for extended periods, allowing yourself to really to enjoy this time, is doubly important.
When you really allow this nothingness, there is a good chance that the times when you are needing to do other things won’t feel as difficult; you won’t feel as resentful. Truly indulging in that time can recharge you. It may help you develop a different perspective on what is happening now, and there will be less resistance to ‘what is.’
There may also be a call to really evaluate our lives now to see if maybe we need to erect some boundaries, be a bit more ‘selfish’ with our time, consider if we are falling victim to the ‘shoulds’ in any way that is making us do things we may not want to do, and the like.
When we are feeling stuck, doing nothing can feel particularly challenging because our action-oriented minds are telling us we need to be figuring out how to get unstuck. We have to put together a plan of attack. We have to take some sort of action to get unstuck.
But from this space, the effective actions probably can’t make their way in. The clarity that will offer you insights into the best actions to take just isn’t there. The solutions can’t be delivered because our energy isn’t a match to them.
While it logically won’t make sense, the ‘doing nothing’ is the best course of action because in that space, you are making some room for the inspired actions, the solutions and the next step to be revealed to you. In the space of doing nothing, you are protecting yourself from the self-sabotage in the form of uninspired actions being taken from a space of complete misalignment with what you want.
As we get more comfortable with doing nothing and stop judging it as being ‘lazy’ or whatever, the benefits of this time will really shine through.
The fear that we’ll never want to do anything again, and our life will just continue to suck because we’ll basically just give up on trying to improve it, will begin to fade, as this nothing time opens the door to all sorts of clarity, insights and manifestations that will reveal the next step and get us unstuck.
What Really Slows Things Down
The ‘negative’ emotion in and of itself is not what is keeping us stuck and slowing us down…our judgment of it, and resistance to it, can certainly be a key player however, because it intensifies and prolongs it.
The trick to all of this is really honoring how we are feeling, realizing it is just showing us something. We don’t want to judge any state of being as ‘wrong.’ All our emotions have value.
Whatever is happening right now is exactly what is supposed to be happening, and we just have to look for the message. Don’t try too hard to find it though—merely set an intention to have it revealed and just feel whatever you are feeling.
Do what you can to feel better but don’t force it. The allowing of our emotions tends to naturally lead us to a better feeling state as we allow the release of that energy. We don’t have to really ‘try’ to do it.
So, that’s that. Hope you enjoyed it.
Your Turn…
What did you think of this post? Anything resonate with you in particular? How do you handle this energy when it shows up in your life? Anything you would add?
The next class in the Manifesting Like a Mofo Series is ready for sign-up.
Good Vibrations: Tackling the Most Common Forms of Energetic ‘Ick’
This call is going to cover some of the biggest causes of vibrational ‘discord’ that keep us out of alignment with receiving all the goodies we so desire.
This really made sense to me. I am a full time artist and I have chosen to pursue my dream. I have been working with law of attraction for quite a while but I am definitely feeling that – wanting to do nothing syndrome. I keep asking myself ‘why am I feeling like this’ why can’t my work ethic be what I want it to be? but this has made sense and I have been allowing it. I’m feeling a lot of negative emotion and energies over the last few days but I’m actually happy about it (even though I feel like shit).
They’re obviously there so I am allowing them to surface, and surface they are. It’s painful but I believe there’s a cleansing in it. I was running from all of this and saying ‘they’re just thoughts’ but they’re not. They are emotions and negative energies. This week should be interesting as it’s the first time I’m just letting all of this be. Great website and I found great insights where myself and my friend were genuinely stuck.
All the best from Dublin, Ireland!
Hi David
Thanks for your comment and I think a lot of people will relate to what you said. That doing nothing is a great way to step back and reassess everything. We often see that we were operating from a space where our energy was a bit screwy–trying to force things,not trusting,etc… Also, we are reluctant to pull back because we think action is what creates and if we’re not doing anything, nothing will change,etc… But that pulling back is what can make room for the inspired actions to reveal themselves and we go back into ‘doing’ but from a completely different space. Letting yourself feel all that will be very helpful because it will show you things you need to see. Too often, we are trying to manifest from a space of wanting certain things to show up so we can get rid of the feelings we are experiencing now that we don’t like–we see these manifestations as the solution but they really aren’t. The true solution is what you are doing now…actually allowing the feelings without judgment.
Thank you for saying this. I equally needed to hear it as much as I needed to hear the initial post. It was a perspective shift to allow my current emotional state to be seen as a period of cleansing. Thank you. Thank you. I was led to this site for a reason tonight.
Hi Sydney
Glad the post and his comment was helpful! If you ever have any questions about anything, don’t hesitate to reach out!
For me I felt more and more OK with feeling bleh until I turned bleh into presence of mind, appreciation and being OK with not caring too much. At least for 4 seconds each day 🙂 I figure that not caring signals it’s OK to be in the moment and not want anything. It means I feel whole now, as is, and all is extra. This feels numbing at first because my old conditioning was in doing or seeking or getting or thirsting mode but goodness, this journey just got 1000 times easier when I sat with the bleh feelings, until I felt that not caring was actually a fab state of mind. Almost like neutral. It’s like ego doesn’t know what to do when you don’t react, and you feel like, what the f*ck is going on? Empty feeling. Which is wonderful.
If folks criticize me I genuinely DO NOT CARE most of the time. Because it’s all extra. Nothing to do with my whole and completeness, no way. In the past I’d get all worked up over outcomes and criticisms and all types of situations; now I’m pretty cool with it all now, and I’m pretty cool with not caring about it. Fab post!
Ryan
Hey 4 seconds is a start! I like what you said about the not wanting anything as being in the moment and not in a pessimistic way of thinking you can’t have it anyway so why bother? There is a really big difference between the two. I think we have a hard time realizing that the act of wanting is not necessary and actually complicates things quite a bit. You are right our mind can react to this with some confusion. It is not used to it and is questioning why you aren’t having your typical reaction
“The fear that we’ll never want to do anything again, and our life will just continue to suck because we’ll basically just give up on trying to improve it,”
That sentence is the sum of my fears with this feeling of not wanting to do anything. I know that I won’t be completely uninspired forever, but when I read that sentence it was like a light bulb went off.
I think I’m just afraid I’ll let the “laziness” take over and I’ll be stuck where I’m at forever. It’s weird to have all this passion and then suddenly not really care at all. I know we can’t be all gung-ho about everything all the time, but I think I get nervous when it lingers too long. But the more I resist it, the more it’s going to persist.
I’m just going to have to cut myself some slack it seems. Thank you for posting this Kelli. 🙂
Hey Summer
You are very welcome. I think that is a fear a lot of us have. I know in those moments it crosses my mind as well and it really speaks to that deeply ingrained idea of having to always be ‘doing’ something to move things along. The actions do reveal themselves and we end up taking them from a totally different space. I think the big shift between the two states probably threw you for a loop as well. I know for myself, one of the big epiphanies was that even at times when I was feeling super inspired and super excited, there was always that undercurrent of wanting to create from that space of not liking where I was now, and when things didn’t turn out like I expected, the emotions that came up let me know very clearly that is what I was doing. It’s tricky because we may never create from that completely pure space and I guess that is just part of the game. I can say without a doubt you need to cut yourself some slack because I know how us LOA people are and we are way too hard on ourselves!
Hi Kelli,
This apathetic blah feeling is very familiar to me. To be honest, I really hate where I am. I’m really unhappy and the changes I’ll have to make and things I have to figure out completely overwhelm me. I go straight into panic whenever I plan and think of all things I need to do to have a better life. There is also a deep regret as well…a few months ago I was offered a large monetary gift that would have greatly helped, but I turned it down. It’s a long story, but I feared possible negative effects of accepting the money, so I didn’t. I’ve felt really stuck for a long time and am panicking because I’m wasting time and know that changes need to be made. I’m still reluctant to making them though. When I follow my emotions, often I’m lead to feeling deeply sad or into a blah state like you write about.
The manifestation of the financial gift that fell into my life was clear proof though that things can come to us easily and without strain. Even though I didn’t accept it, I still feel that this offer shows how it’s possible to change through our energy alone. It also reaffirmed that if we’re aligned, it doesn’t matter what we or anyone else does…we will receive our manifestations.
Hi M
When we feel overwhelmed at what we would need to do to get where we want to be, that is a really strong sign we are in ‘control’ mode and it’s understandable to go there because that is how our mind works. The best thing you can do right now is see what next step you can take…that will relieve some of the pressure. It also helps to remember that there is no one thing that must happen to get where we want or to be happy. When we just focus on that next step, the path begins to unfold–it may or may not look like we are envisioning now but things start to come together on their own, without our micromanaging. That you were able to turn down that money shows how much faith you have in the process and you went with your gut that accepting it didn’t feel right, no matter what your mind might have been concluding. You are right that it is proof of how things can come to us without strain.
Thanks for your helpful words Kelli. I know intellectually that I only need to focus on the next step and the path will unfold, but I still feel overwhelmed, even by something that simple. It feels much easier when the opportunities show up out of the blue and you can just take or leave them. When I have to plan and figure things out myself…that’s when the stress comes in. Opportunities and offers from the outside don’t always show up for me though.
I do at least have some trust in this process because there have been things that have just come to me without any effort. Meeting the right people, opportunities, situations that would seem really lucky. I used to overeffort in the past which wore me out so much…I fear going down that path again. Whenever I can, it feels good to do nothing.
Hi M
You are right…feeling like we need to figure it all out is stressful and we really don’t. Things can come together without us trying to make it all happen. But this line of thinking can go in two directions, with one being this idea we can totally give up responsibility for our life and hope there is some master plan that entails us getting the things we want and it will all just magically fall in our lap without us never needing to take any action or make any decisions. This can be comforting to some people because it basically lets them off the hook, but ultimately will feel disempowering. You seem to have a lot of reluctance around taking any sort of action…naturally we don’t want to force anything but we also have to remember that not all beneficial, inspired action may feel totally comfortable. I think you’ll figure out a way to move past this.
P.S. Yesterday, in my daily email from Abraham-Hicks, there was a very nice little reminder of how manifesting works. It felt really assuring to read, and I think others reading your blog may enjoy it too:
“Achieve, first, the vibrational essence of your desire—and then, through the crack of least resistance the manifestation will be delivered… work on the essence of the feeling of freedom; work on the essence of the feeling of empowerment— work on the essence of the feeling of Well-Being… And how do you do that? You can imagine it already having happened and pretend what it will feel like when it is that way. Or, you can look for things in your life that are already like that and beat the drum of that until they play a higher percentage of time in the vibrational signal that you are emanating.”
Thank you M for sharing this. I appreciate any helpful tips, even if heard before something they resonate at a later time. When we’re in a state to hear them.
Thank you for sharing this…I am sure many people will enjoy reading it. I know I did
Hi Kelli,
I do not want to waste your time and i know you are busy with many comments and mail same as i am writing know… Anyway, i am an actor and script writer. In the last 15 years i tried many ways but i have always failed. Still the same situation keeps being stable.
When i learnt the loa, i believed the tecniques and it worked for little things. But when it comes for my career, it sucks. Taking action makes me really scare cos i do not want to plead producers, agents our managers. In other case i worked over a tv series project for the last three months. One of my friend, from my ex-work place, guarantied to sell my script to the producer company she works for. I wrote the script very pationately but i can’t even give it to the company for evaluation. She said i can’t accept them to read you script. I failed again!
Briefly even though i visualized the good end, it went bad.
I have no connection left in the sector, no manager is interested in with me cis still i am a no-name actor, i do not what to do. Do i change my career? But i cannot even think about a different job, i tried many in the past and made me very unhappy. I can’t earn money. I can’t pay my bills and really i do not know what to do. What would be the taking action stuff? Do i have to plead the people like a beggar lije as “please give me a job, act in a a movie.” “please manage my talent!” or “i beg you to make a movie of my script?” i can’t understand the action stuff. If the loa exists, do not it bring me the opportunities?
Thank you for your interest and
Sorry for my english cos it is not my mother tongue
Hi Kelli. This one definitely hit the nail on the head for me. I have been reading tarot cards for about 18 years now, and for the past year or so, my mind has been going crazy with trying to “come up with a plan” to change my situation…..and no ideas ever came. When I consult the cards (which can be very accurate) I was always asking, “What is my best course of action to changing such and such a thing…” and I was always pulling the same few cards. Every card being one that represented being patient, sitting still and “doing nothing”, lol. Needless to say, my mind HATED that answer. It didn’t make any fucking sense to me. It made me want to hurl my tarot into the ocean. It would make me so upset because it made me feel like the universe was saying “Stay here where you are and do nothing, because that’s where you belong….in the place you hate. Suck it up and deal with it, this is your fate.” But I realize now why I kept being told that message repeatedly. It was because by “doing nothing’, I would be creating with energy instead of action. Wow. A year’s worth of consulting the cards finally makes a bit of sense now. I’ve been vehemently rebelling against “doing nothing”, because I didn’t want the universe to think I was being lazy and not wanting to change my life for the better (which I most certainly do). My family ALWAYS judges me for being “lazy”, whenever I “do nothing” in order to gain clarity and find inspiration. I was actually starting to believe their judgments of me. I was actually HATING MYSELF for being “lazy” in my vain attempts to find inspiration. Never underestimate the power of doubt and the heavy influence that “family” can have on you…..sometimes, a very NEGATIVE influence. All I’ve been feeling is constant guilt and frustration for not being able to “come up with a good plan”. But that’s all “action stuff” and NOT “energy stuff”. Your blog is helping me to let go of some of that bullshit. It’s funny…..my “family” all “works their asses off”……and yet all of them are always broke and miserable. Yet, they want me to do as they do. Irony is funny sometimes, lol. Thanks again Kelli:-)