The whole idea behind law of attraction is you attract experiences that match your predominant feelings and beliefs as they stand now—sometimes these feelings and beliefs are super obvious, and sometimes we have to think a bit, about why we may have attracted something. But I digress…
This means that in order to get whatever it is you want, you have to feel as if you already had it, at least a large majority of the time.
This whole feeling good now thing, even though we don’t have what we want, can seem like an unfamiliar way of operating. We are used to feeling crappy because we don’t like how things are now, and it totally makes sense to our brains that we can’t feel better until things change. In fact, we can become very insistent on it, much to our detriment.
We constantly notice the absence of what we want in our current reality, and lament it heavily. There is a strong sense of need around whatever we desire, and our mind is very good at telling us we have every right to feel badly, so just keep at it. On some level, we believe all of this is what will lead things to change—we need to make sure our displeasure is known so that something better can come.
But, if you have been boning up on law of attraction, you come to know this way of being can pose big problems in the manifesting department.
Chances are, your interest in this concept was a result of things not going very swimmingly right now, and a desire to change all of that. You may not be feeling great overall, or in a particular area of your life, and just feeling better even though everything is still the same, sound easy in theory, but as you may see, difficult to do in practice.
If the whole ‘feeling good now’ thing isn’t coming so easily to you, don’t feel badly. If you are not feeling great every second, don’t feel badly about that either..it won’t totally clog up the channels of receiving, and you can still let plenty of things in.
So, we know in order to attract the things that will make us feel happy, fulfilled, less stressed, purposeful and all that jazz, we have to start feeling better now. Here are some tips to do just that even if there is nothing much in your life to be smiling about.
Don’t Force Yourself from Misery to Manically Happy in One Fell Swoop
When you discover LOA, the idea you can attract all sorts of great things by consciously working with your energy, thoughts, beliefs and feelings, is pretty freaking awesome. From this perspective, anything is possible. You are in the driver’s seat, and nothing outside of you can truly impact your reality. No matter what happened in the past, it means absolutely nothing. Sounds good to me.
So, now you are super-aware of your negative thoughts, beliefs and feelings. You are determined to get rid of them as quickly as possible lest your life will continue sucking. And so you work on ‘feeling good now.’ Because of all this emphasis on positive energy, you believe you have to totally rid yourself of all your demons immediately, or nothing better can make its way into your orbit.
But, that isn’t how it works, and if you try too hard to shift your energy, you will just get frustrated as hell, and give up eventually. You will determine this attraction stuff is utter bullshit, and just go on as you were, hating life and fearing you won’t get the things you want ever.
You have to honor where you are now, and incrementally move towards a better-feeling space. And just to be clear, incrementally doesn’t equate with slow. You can actually start seeing changes relatively quickly even with smaller shifts. You just have to be willing to see these smaller manifestations as proof of this shift, rather than crapping all over them, which is what we tend to do.
So, if you are feeling like crap now, admit it. Let yourself feel your feelings. Play around with different thoughts that provide a sense of relief, that take some of the pressure off, that allow you to acknowledge possibilities exist that you may not be able to ascertain with your puny brain.
For example, let’s say you absolutely hate your job, and are miserable. You really feel like you can’t quit now, and your most ideal types of jobs don’t seem to be available in your area. Going from this to totally psyching yourself up to land your dream job, and believing without a doubt it exists, will be a pretty big leap. You may be able to ‘get it up’ energetically at this level for a short time, but you are likely to come crashing down, and feel even worse than before.
So, instead of doing that, you might be willing to concede your job isn’t as bad as you think it is. You might think about the good things, like it pays your bills, or your awesome work friends. You might be willing to admit you can’t possibly know of every available job out there. You acknowledge something you really like, is out there somewhere currently, or will be created by someone else, and you will manage to line up with it somehow.
And, you notice yourself experiencing a shift. You may not feel over the moon. You may not totally shift your perspective on your job. You may not feel out and out good, but you feel better. And that is where it all starts.
Once you start feeling better, you will attract better-feeling thoughts. Your energy will raise, and from this higher vibing space, you will begin to attract ideas, inspirations, encounters and all other sorts of goodies that show you what you want is actually possible. Raising your energy becomes easier.
Let Yourself Feel Your Negative Emotions
Truly shifting our energy in any real way is not about simply ignoring and suppressing all of our negative thoughts and feelings, and then trying to think happy thoughts. That is just denial, and won’t get you very far. It is important to understand the difference between addressing negative emotion that is already there, and generating negative emotion by turning your attention towards things that make you feel badly, like the doom and gloom financial news when you are trying to build a a successful business.
You may worry that letting yourself feel badly will create more negativity, but when you are owning how you feel, no matter what the feeling is, you are just acknowledging something already there.
From this point, there are a couple of ways to handle it. If it is something kind of small, you might be able to simply direct your attention elsewhere, and in doing that, will feel better.
But, if it is something ‘heavier,’ you probably won’t be able to do that with any real success. You’ll have to do a bit of ‘work’ in identifying what is going on, and working on shifting the beliefs and feelings. This does not mean totally ridding yourself of a belief in one sitting, though it is certainly possible. It simply means doing a bit of emotional detective work, and getting yourself into a better-feeling space, getting closer to ‘big’ you who knows what is really possible for you.
Really let yourself feel what you are feeling. This permission will help it flow more easily, and the easier it flows, the more quickly it can leave you. This will help create a sense of relief, a hugely powerful feeling that can really open things up energetically speaking.
If you are unused to really letting things rip in an emotional sense, this full surrender may feel a bit uncomfortable. You might not let yourself go there fully at this time, and it’s okay. It can be a bit of a process.
But, there is no such thing as ‘too much’ when it comes to this stuff…really step into the feelings and allow yourself to feel them. Scream, cry, punch a pillow..whatever.
Sometimes this dramatic release will be all that is required, but chances are, your mind is going to want a piece of the action. It will want to know why you are feeling this way, and that’s fine. Work with it, don’t fight it. Anything we can do to ensure its cooperation will be of great benefit to us when dabbling in this law of attraction thing.
So, you’ll be feeling your emotions and your mind will want to do a bit of digging. When in your past did you feel like you felt now? The memories that come up are an energetic match for your current state, so they are always relevant, even if they don’t seem so. For example, you might come up with a string of incidents in various contexts of your life—work, family, relationships—that have a common theme of not feeling like you are good enough.
Once you identify these core beliefs and feelings, it will be easier to keep moving because your mind will feel appeased. In theory, we can just let anything go at anytime that is no longer serving us, but we all know that is not how it usually plays out.
From this space, you can begin focusing on what you want. You can begin dispelling the beliefs—one of my favorite ways is listing out the limiting belief and then all the reasons it isn’t true.
You will notice that your limiting beliefs tend to be absolutes ….NO ONE loves me, I NEVER get what I want, everyone is ALWAYS taking advantage of me, and so on and so forth. Consciously, you may not have realized that, but like I always like to remind everyone, what is going on underneath the surface is all sorts of crazy.
If you can think back to times that refute these absolutes, it is easier to start chipping away at the beliefs, which will then improve things on the feeling front.
As for how long this will take, there really is no set answer to that. It might be a few hours, a few days or a few weeks. Your release of one emotion might lead to another popping up, and then you might have to do a bit of work with that one—for example, working with your sadness may trigger some anger.
Just do your best to go with the flow, and deal with whatever comes up. Again, if you can just turn your attention elsewhere, and you feel better, that is fine. But, when that isn’t working, don’t be afraid to go where you need to go with the emotions.
Whatever Makes You Feel Better is Beneficial..Seriously, No Matter What It Is
There are lots of things that our mind has a hard time accepting when it comes to law of attraction. Let’s face it, it can sound kind of wacky to the uninitiated , or when you first discover it. Even for those of us who have been ‘enthusiasts’ for a long while now still run into issues as we advance.
The idea we can get all sorts of stuff by simply feeling good overall, and not paying any specific mind to the actual things we want ,flies in the face of the common paradigm of always ‘keeping your eye on the prize,’ working hard to get what you want, always taking action,etc…
There is a part of us that is scared if we take our attention from what we want, we somehow won’t get it. The Universe will assume we don’t want it. But, that is not how it works. Remember…we attract based on what we are feeling now predominantly, so that means we will attract other things that make us feel that same way. So, you will get all sorts of good stuff above and beyond what you want now.
So, this means anything you do that makes you feel better is a worthy use of your time, whether it is playing with your new puppy for two hours, prancing around your bedroom in your underwear singing show tunes, or spending a few hours with a good friend having good conversation. It doesn’t matter. This is certainly not the first time I have mentioned this, but it bears repeating because it can be one of the biggest things to trip us up because our mind tends to fight us on this big time.
It is telling you that you are being lazy, that you should be focusing on the issue at hand and trying to find some way to ‘fix’ it, that you should be figuring out ‘how’ you are going to get what you want. It is telling you that you must take control and make things happen.
So, yeah, just work on feeling good (better) for the sake of feeling good (better.) Don’t always make everything about getting your ‘stuff.’ Your order has been placed-big you and the Universe make an awesome team, and we are really not needed all that much in the equation.
We can act when it feels good, but other than that, the thing we need to give our attention to most is getting things right upstairs. That is taking action, that is doing something. You are certainly not doing ‘nothing’ when you are working on shifting your beliefs, and making yourself a better match to the things you want. Not by a long shot.
I present you with a proposition…for the next week, make it a point to do at least one thing each day, that really feels good to you, no matter how small, silly or frivolous. Really work on honoring this promise to yourself,and pay attention to what happens..I assure you some sort of ‘proof’ will be presented that shows you are lining up more closely with what you want.
In Closing…
Sometimes feeling good really just means feeling better, and that’s totally cool. We all have to start somewhere. When we are honest with ourselves about what is going on inside, and how we are feeling, we will progress much more quickly with shifting our energy, and seeing a change on the outside. The denial and suppression just slows things down. Don’t be scared of the negativity—we really can’t let something go until we embrace it.
Your Turn…
What did you think of the post? Did any part in particular resonate with you? What tip was the most helpful for your current leg of the journey? What tips would you add? As always, can’t wait for your comments.
Hi Kelli,
I think it was pretty funny that you mentioned going from negative to happiest in one fell swoop. That might be an indication that people are on drugs. 😉 As you state You have to honor where you are now, and incrementally move towards a better-feeling space. That makes so much sense to me and has to be better emotionally as we move toward our goals.
That is what resonated with me the most.
Great post as usual.
Have a great week-end.
Barbara
Hey Barbara
I am glad that makes sense to you because it will be super helpful when doing this work. When we first start working with something like LOA, it is easy to put a lot of pressure on ourselves to get all happy, and that just makes everything so much harder, and we get super-critical of ourselves.
Oh, Kelli, I really needed this today!!!!! I feel so sucky living next to several idiots we call neighbors! I can’t stand them and they are so stupid and frustrating, but how do I get myself out of this feeling? I want them to disappear, but that is just not possible, or is it? We took care of one crazy neighbor with whom we are not on speaking terms so it is like she is out of our reality and that is great, but how about the others who park on front of the driveway and there is no space for us to get in? Or who do all sorts of crazy stuff, like put boxes in places they don’t think we will notice but we do? The thing is, if we take out our anger, we are the ones who will get in trouble, so any input on this will be helpful.
We obviously need to get out of this neighborhood, but we have no money yet. The house is nice, so I try to focus on that, but when I see a neighbor park right there after being clear about it before, makes me crazy. they pretend not to hear, so should I just pretend they are not there? Threaten to call the police when it just gets too much? What can I do? How do you do it? I know you can get bad neighbors wherever you go, but how can I attract good people and just make the bad ones disappear?
Hi K.
I’m sure Kelli will add her wisdom to my reply, but we recently had a minor neighbour issue. We are really friendly and when we moved in we tried to get to know our neighbours but they weren’t very interested in being friendly, and they kept doing things like putting out their bottles in the bin RIGHT outside our windows at 6am. I tried to ignore it and not let it bother me but my husband would complain and bring my attention back to it. I just tried to forget it and not let it bother me. Anyway, they just moved out a few days ago! So as well as it being super quiet at the moment, I get the feeling our new neighbours are going to be really nice, because I have been raising my vibration and trying to spend time with nice people and stay away from the not so nice ones.
I know it’s hard when your neighbours do stuff that drives you crazy but being mad about it will just keep them around. Just be polite, try not to let it bother you and when you feel the rage rising, have a little conniption privately and then think about something else. Eventually they will gravitate out of your reality, for sure, because their low inconsiderate vibration won’t be compatible with your high vibration. Good luck!
Thank you so much, Bunny, for your comment! I deeply appreciate it.
Your example really helped me to understand how it can happen, except that we will be the ones to move since we are renting and those @#$%^&!! are the owners of their homes. I mean, they ruin the experience of being in this nice home with the seeping sunrises and sunsets, which I try to focus on, but get derailed. But, who really knows what will happen and what the Universe has in store. I have deep faith.
I just get so frustrated with their antics and calling the police and filing a complaint seems good to me. But them I think, well, they are not talking to me, which is much preferred and my husband can enter the driveway becasue he is slick and he just lets them know when he can’t so why go through the trouble of filing a complaint and actually dealing more with them?
Thanks again, bunny!
Hey Bunny
You took the words right out of my mouth or keyboard!
Kelli, was actually looking forward to your response as I thought you would explain it better than me!
K., guess what – they owned their house and we are renting – like you! I don’t know, they just decided to up and buy a new house, which we thought was strange, because their new one is not much nicer than the one they left. Anyway, if you focus positively I think anything could happen – you could win some money and be able to to buy a house in another area etc etc. rather than them moving. As for complaining, we are having issues with the landlord not fixing a few things around here that really drives me crazy, like the gutters being full of leaves which makes the water run off like a waterfall when it’s raining. I could really make a fuss and force them to do it, but that would be time consuming and I would be focusing on a negative, so I am trying to focus on it being sorted somehow and also the new big beautiful house that I OWN and I’m sure the whole issue will resolve itself.
I did expand a bit on what you had said and responded to her, but honestly, you did a wonderful job of illustrating how our shift in energy can result in resolving the issue. You are quite adept with this LOA stuff..hope you realize how much you have learned and how good you are at applying it. It is kind of like when we are learning a second language–we tend to not realize how good we are doing at it simply because we aren’t 100 percent fluent. You guys are all so awesome!
Hahahahahaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, guess what. We had a gutter problem here. It was major. From its construction, there were huge floods in the deluges of the spring, summer and fall. there were several floods a year we had to deal with. I bought special soaking materials, like bags used for floods and even made some great friends over in Ireland where the bags are manufactured. I was told by these manufacturers that the landlord had to fix the system, which did not happen for 4 years. The landlord would not do it, and we continued to take the money spent for stuff out of the rent, which set off some bells in his mind. Meanwhile, the @#$%^&!! neighbor complained that in the winter, our gutters would freeze and the water would spill over to her side and she would yell at us (wrong people since we are renting, duh!) until we gave her the landlord’s number to tell him directly so that he could wake up even more. Then the boiler was on the brink and one day I just exploded, after having had a miscarriage that it sucks living in this house and viola, everything was fixed. I even apologized to the old boiler for calling it names and it made its way out and in came the new one.
As a matter of fact, the contractor who installed the de-icers in the top gutter just texted last night to ask how the system is working this winter!
So, when I stopped complaining, after an explosion, it all happened, but those are necessary sometimes to shift energy.
The Universe listens.
Yes, Bunny, that is the way. You are right. Please see my comment below about the gutters.
Thanks so much you guys!!!!! Kelli, I will most certainly try because I need to feel good!
You are welcome K. Bunny gave some great tips for you that are really specific to your situation so that should be helpful, and like I said before, when we go inward and stop worrying as much about other people bending to our will, we can really see some awesome stuff begin to happen. It looks like you have already had some similar experiences that illustrate this, so it is all about remembering to focus. I know you have it in you!
kno
Hi K
As someone who can get easily bent out of shape when people around me are doing things that bother me, I get how frustrating that experience can be. I read the advice Bunny gave you, and it is exactly the same thing I would have told you. When other people are doing things that impact us negatively, our first thought is they need to change what they are doing, which can be super annoying because we can never really make people do anything. But, as we all know with LOA, if we can work on our inner world, the outside changes, including our interactions with others. It can take a bit to really get into that groove sometimes, but I would really recommend putting your focus on how you would like the situation to be…do a bit of visualizing about not having problem neighbors,etc.. and you would be amazed at what can happen, even if they essentially stay who they are. THey could end up moving, you could feel inspired to have a conversation with them where you say the perfect things and they really respond well,etc…
Don’t beat yourself up for getting annoyed, but do your best to redirect your focus anytime you can. Even if it is just a few minutes at a time.
KC I dig the idea of stepping your way up vibrationally. I like doing little feel good stuff, like exercising, or stretching, or just plain laughing. A tiny move, and yet, my energy is on the rise quickly, and I can feel predominantly good in even the most bleak situations, when I step by way up, moment to moment.
Keep on inspiring KC!
Ryan
Hey Ryan
Those are all great tips to get our feelings moving in a better direction. If we can just accept our current state without judgment and go from there, we are golden.
Wonderful post Kelli. I really loved your feeling better post. If we are feeling good about something, we must pursue it. It does not matter what it is. If we are feeling good from within, we will definitely attract good things in our life.
Thanks for your lovely thoughts.
Hi Yatin
Thanks so much. I am so glad you enjoyed it. You are so right about feeling good bringing us more things that feel that way. It can be hard for our mind to accept it sometimes, but it will start to comply more eventually!
Hey Kelli,
I totally agree with your point about trying to see the good things about a job or situation you are in even if you aren’t happy with it. Years ago when I was nursing I was stuck in job which was quite frankly boring although it was a 9-5 Mon – Fri job which suited me at the time. After a while dwelling on these good points an opportunity arose which meant I could take a job in a hospital in New York . Not quite a Mon – Fri job but it meant I could get to America which was my aim. I took action and the job was mine . Even though it was way out of my comfort zone I went and had a great time.
Hey Sandy
Thanks so much for your comment and sharing your experience. That is a perfect example of LOA in action. Our brain will fight us on adopting a more positive perspective on our life as it currently is because it always wants to dwell on what is missing or needs to be fixed. There can be a bit of a fear I think of feeling better now cancelling our order for what we want instead. But, since we attract experience based on what we are feeling, if we feel good we’ll just get more things that make us feel good!
I used to think otherwise. I wanted to just get rid of my negativity as soon as possible because if I let myself feel it a little longer, Ill end up feeling negative the whole way…I’ll just dwell on it and keep feeling horrible.
Nowadays, I actually let myself feel it and let it go after 5 minutes (for those petty ones that affect me emotionally) and it does help me think better and focus. Still not perfect, but improving.
I read this post like 3 times. I needed to get my subconscious to take it all in! 😀
Hey Dennis
I doubt there are many people out there who have completely mastered their emotions, so the best we can usually do is improve over time, and be compassionate when we don’t handle things in the way we would have preferred! Feeling badly feels well..badly so it is natural we want to make it go away as soon as possible, but that can actually perpetuate it. When we do let ourselves feel things and think a bit about what may be causing the emotions, we are in a better position to improve our emotional state overall. Ah, the human experience!
Hi Kelli,
I totally agree with the fact that this is a process, a transformation. You can’t make changes over night, just like with health. It’s a slow, consistent process that becomes habit. I also believe it helps to surround yourself with others who have made the transformation, and are happy, likeminded people. It’s much easier to stick to your new ways. Debbie downers just don’t cut it. Have a great week. Lisa
Hey Lisa
You are so right about that. I am sure your own experience with your weight loss and transforming your health serves you well in your personal development work. It was something that unfolded over time, and you eventually got where you wanted to be, so that can bolster your faith for your other endeavors. The people around us are a huge influence, and you are right it can make all the difference in the world. You have a great week too!
Hi Kelli,
This post reminds me of that moment when I realized that it was okay to be human. I learned to embrace myself intellectually and physically easily but emotionally it took some time. There is nothing wrong with feeling bad but what gets us in trouble is when we allow our thinking to add more to what’s going on and making it into something that it’s really not.
The easiest way for me to get out of my feeling is being of service to others. Once my mind is off off me my bad feeling go away. They may come back but they’re not as strong. It takes time to learn what you’re teaching here but with practice it does work.
Thanks!
Hi Vernon
You are so right how it can take a bit to feel certain truths on an emotional level. There are things we KNOW to be true with our minds, but how we feel is very different. You are so right about how we can get off course when we add onto the feelings and thoughts and kind of blow them out of proportion.That is a great way to feel better…contributing to other’s happiness in some way is one of the most fulfilling things we can do. You are right it can take time to become more comfortable with our emotions and processing them in a way that is helpful…there really is no end point and the goal is to just see it for the process that it is. Thanks so much for your insights!
Hi Kelli. I agree with you that the law of attraction can sound whacky at first. Setting goals and taking action to accelerate manifesting is a key step in getting what you want.
Hi Robert
Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving your thoughts. It can sound a bit strange to the ‘uninitiated’ for sure, but if we let the info seep in, it will start to make more sense. Setting goals can certainly be helpful for giving us something on which to focus .
can you tell me how to make face beautiful using law of attraction..?
Hi Kelli,
I needed to see this post. I’ve been having some pain for the last three months on my foot, which has affected my day to day activities and it just totally depressed me and I was only dwelling on it so much and that didn’t help matters of course, just got me down even more. Then I came across the book, the secret, and read it and ever since there’s been an improvement in my mind, a little bit atleast, and I try my best to send out positive thoughts, but when I feel my pain worse at sometimes, its hard for me to feel good or positive and I start focussing on it again and feel sad all over again, but that stresses me out cause then I feel I’m attracting more negativity into my life. So I was just stuck and stressed about this whole process. My question to you is, so I’m assuming it’s ok for me to just cry when I feel really bad , it does make me feel better after I cry, but I seem to cry a lot.. How do I move forward from here for such a situation? I feel good, but again go back to feeling sad..any guidance or suggestions you have for me to move forward from this point in terms of thought process. I just really really really want to feel well, and I also want to practice self healing on myself, but get stuck in visualizing the healing energy flowing through me. Please help me if you have any guidance you can share on moving through such a situation. Thanks so much Kelli.