{"id":9338,"date":"2014-04-16T10:36:08","date_gmt":"2014-04-16T10:36:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/blog\/?p=179"},"modified":"2021-07-31T13:33:51","modified_gmt":"2021-07-31T13:33:51","slug":"im-not-special-how-i-managed-to-create-the-life-i-actually-wanted-and-how-you-can-too","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/im-not-special-how-i-managed-to-create-the-life-i-actually-wanted-and-how-you-can-too\/","title":{"rendered":"I’m Not Special: How I Managed to Create the Life I Actually Wanted and How You Can Too"},"content":{"rendered":"

My life is pretty awesome–I do freelance writing and can work from anywhere I can get an internet connection. For the last three years, I have been living my dream of traveling long-term and funding it with ”mobile” sources of income.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have been to Costa Rica, Peru, India, Nepal, Sri Lanka, Thailand, Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, Indonesia and Malaysia during this time. I am penning this post from my hotel room in Bangkok, Thailand, where I will hop on a plane and then a ferry to spend a month on the beautiful island of Koh Lanta. Then it is off to Phuket for a month. Then, four months in Fiji on a housesitting job. After that, it’s anybody’s guess.<\/span><\/p>\n

I am not telling you all of this just to be boastful and make people jealous. I am telling you this in hopes that it will inspire you to consciously create the reality you desire, no matter what that entails.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Hanging
Hanging with some tigers in Thailand<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

My life wasn’t always like this; I was not given any special advantages; there is no trust fund or rich parents. I did not have a random benefactor walk up to me on the street one day, and say ‘Hey, I would like to pay for you to travel the world.’ Getting to this point was rife with challenges, but I stuck it out because I knew I could not give up on what I wanted most.<\/span><\/p>\n

My life was not horrible by any means, it was pretty run-of-the-mill. Went to college, got a job, went out with friends on the weekends…you get the drill. But, at some point, I began feeling restless. I was not happy with how my life was. It was not what I wanted, but at the time, I didn’t know what exactly it was I did.\u00a0 All those years ago, I never would have dreamed I would have the type of life of which others would be jealous or find so interesting, not for a second<\/em><\/strong>.<\/span><\/p>\n

This restlessness led to a rather rash decision to move to Japan and teach English, and that really activated a dormant passion for travel that I kind of pushed down because I didn’t think it was possible.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Feeding<\/a>
Feeding the squirrel monkeys who visited our apartment in Quepos, Costa Rica<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Within a few years after that experience, a bunch of crappy stuff happened. My father was diagnosed with lung cancer and died. My finances were a nightmare, and I was drowning in debt. Anxiety and depression were constant companions.Tried a couple of online ventures that did not really work out for me, and I quit. But, all these challenges really forced me into a space of rapid growth.<\/span><\/p>\n

I had always been interested in personal development to some degree, but my efforts at really changing myself were half-hearted at best. Those challenging situations really sucked at the time, but I have a strong feeling I wouldn’t be where I am today had they not happened.<\/span><\/p>\n

When I find myself in conversations with people who find my life so interesting, and want to know how I got where I was, one of the first thing I always like to tell them is ”I’m not special.” Anyone can do what I can do, if they are up for the challenge. While there are so many things that contributed to this current life, there are a few core elements that will form the foundation for the type of change you are seeking.<\/span><\/p>\n

Exposed Myself to New Ways of Thinking<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

There is very little that is completely objective in this reality of ours; that how we think makes a huge impact on how our lives unfold is an understatement if there ever was one. If you are not liking your life now, there is no doubt your thinking and belief system are in need of a major overhaul; because what you think and what you believe to be true form the core of your decisions, and the situations you attract into your experience.<\/span><\/p>\n

I really started evaluating what was going on inside my head, and how that was contributing to my current state of affairs. I was not particularly pessimistic about life, but like many people, I kind of had this idea that it was not supposed to be anything special, and I didn’t expect much.<\/span><\/p>\n

But, I didn’t want to think this way, and I realized I didn’t have to. I could choose to believe in more empowering\u00a0 thoughts and adopt a belief system that was more optimistic. Change your thoughts and you will truly change your world. I began studying the law of attraction more closely, in particular, and it changed my life.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Beautiful<\/a>
Beautiful view of Kathmandu Valley in Nepal.<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

You need to do an inventory of what is currently going on upstairs, and see what beliefs are no longer serving you, that are holding you back from living the life you want to live, and being the person you want to be. Then you must feed yourself information that will help replace this junk, and move you towards reaching your goals.<\/span><\/p>\n

You must be diligent with this step…we have a lot of crap rooted very deeply into our minds, and it can take awhile to really shake it loose and let the better ”stuff” take a stronger hold.<\/span><\/p>\n

Got Clear on What I Really Wanted and What I Valued Most<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Most of us are very clear on what we don’t<\/em> like, and what we don’t<\/em> want in our lives; it takes very little effort to focus on the negative. We all just want to be happy, yet, we expend very little effort in actually making this happen. Sure, we may know that we would like more money, or a loving relationship, a job we like–but, these are vague musings, and vague doesn’t cut it.<\/span><\/p>\n

When I first made this realization, it was profound. Happiness is not just something that happens, it is something you have to choose and consciously work to create. I realized that I was just coasting through life pretty much on auto-pilot; there was very little deliberate thought about what was happening in my life currently, and what I wanted to be happening.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"043\"<\/a>
Unknowingly photographed while applying sunscreen in Jimbaran, Bali<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

For the first time in my life, I really thought about what I wanted my life to be like; I uncovered my core values. I wanted a life with maximum flexibility and freedom. I wanted to travel, a lot.<\/em> I wanted to devote my life to improving myself, deepening my spirituality, and living my own truth. I loved writing, and I decided I wanted to make a living doing it.<\/span><\/p>\n

There is great power in clarity and setting intentions. I wrote out all the things I wanted without censoring, or modifying based on what I thought was possible based on my current circumstances.\u00a0 You will never get what you want until you clearly define what it is.<\/span><\/p>\n

Focused on the ‘What’ and Let Go of the ‘How’<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Logic plays a large role in our lives, and it certainly has its place in many situations. But, it has no place in creating your life made to order; in fact, logic is one of the top ‘dream-killers.’ When I first got clear on the type of life I wanted, there was absolutely nothing, and I mean nothing,<\/strong> <\/em>that would suggest any of what I wanted was remotely possible, when viewed through the lens of ‘logical thinking.’<\/span><\/p>\n

But, with my new way of thinking getting more deeply entrenched by the day, I knew that outside appearances were to be firmly ignored; everything comes from within, and I knew if I focused positive energy on what I wanted, without trying to figure out ‘how,’ it would work out. Our puny little minds cannot possibly figure out the infinite ways the things we want can come into our reality. Trying to figure it out will slow you down; it will create an energy that blocks what you want.<\/span><\/p>\n

Things will start to come together in the most magical of ways; you will start experiencing a lot more ‘coincidences,’ though they are really anything but.<\/span><\/p>\n

Got Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

As I got deeper into my efforts to change my life, it was very clear that a lot of the\u00a0 ‘old’ me was still hanging around. My new beliefs always seemed to be in battle with my old, pessimistic, limiting ones.My outside experience was not changing as much as I would have liked, and it was really hard to ignore it sometimes, or not let it influence me.<\/span><\/p>\n

I made decisions that many people would consider ‘irresponsible’, and the idea of others criticizing and judging me made me very uneasy.\u00a0 My family was not exactly enthusiastic and supportive about the direction I was looking to take my life; I think they thought I lived in some sort of fantasy world, and avoiding ‘real’ life. Except for the most spiritually advanced among us, most of us see lack of\u00a0 familial support as a major downer that can really mess with your head and your energy.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"055\"<\/a>
Enjoying a massage and beautiful ride through the karsts of Ninh Binh, Vietnam<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Like any other human, I experienced fear about what I was doing, and I had my doubts about whether I was making the right choices, or if I would ever actually get what I wanted. I wondered if I needed to be more ‘realistic’ in setting my goals–I really hate that word by the way.<\/span><\/p>\n

All of this made for a lot of uncomfortable moments, but I knew I was doing the right thing, and I powered on. I got comfortable with being uncomfortable, and if you really want to make significant changes, you need to develop this skill as well, or else you will give up.<\/span><\/p>\n

Again, I’m not special; I just made a firm decision that I wanted things to be different. I changed my way of thinking; I learned to trust more and develop greater faith; I gave up trying to understand how something like LOA worked, and just went with it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"057\"<\/a>
Ryan and I on the beautiful beach of Pak Nam Pran, Thailand<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I took personal responsibility for my life, and owned the role I played in creating the existence I had up until that point. Getting clear on what I wanted, and what I wanted to be , gave me the confidence and motivation to pursue my dreams because I knew what I was doing was right, and what needed to be done.<\/span><\/p>\n

Being happy is not something reserved for a special few; life can be great, despite the challenges we inevitably will face so long as we are breathing. You don’t have to settle for less than you want; you can forge your own path–it doesn’t matter what other people think, how they are living their life, or their beliefs about what we ‘should’ be doing. I know you can do it because I did.<\/span><\/p>\n

Photo <\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My life is pretty awesome–I do freelance writing and can work from anywhere I can get an internet connection. For the last three years, I have been living my dream of traveling long-term and funding it with ”mobile” sources of income. I have been to Costa Rica, Peru, India, Nepal, Sri Lanka, Thailand, Vietnam, Laos, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[4,35,30,36,5,6,7,43,9,44,11,38,39],"class_list":["post-9338","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-living-your-dream","tag-change","tag-choice","tag-clarity","tag-faith","tag-following-your-dream","tag-happiness-2","tag-inspiration","tag-law-of-attraction-2","tag-living-your-dream-2","tag-loa","tag-positive-change","tag-responsibility","tag-trust"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9338","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9338"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9338\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9338"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9338"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9338"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}