<\/p>\n
Could you do a post on what to do when frustrations rush back and maybe how to make opportunities? I’m trying to make positive changes in my career (which is slowly coming together and I’m confident with) and my (non- existent) romantic life. Whilst I am making positive progressions and I’m monitoring my own thought patterns I can’t help but relapse on frustration and feelings of sadness.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n If our outer world is created by way of our inner world, we make a very helpful, but difficult-to-implement realization: we must start feeling better in the present moment before we are given a reason to. <\/span><\/p>\n We see the typical mode of living outside-in, where are feelings are determined by what is happening outside , isn\u2019t going to be very helpful. If the energy comes first, and then<\/em> the manifestations, we must embody an energy–at least most of the time–that is a match to what we would like to manifest, whether it be better health, a new job, more money or a boyfriend. <\/span><\/p>\n This inability to look beyond \u2018what is\u2019–which isn\u2019t a true inability but more like an unwillingness<\/em>— and cultivate the energy that will usher in what \u2018could be\u2019 is probably the biggest stumbling block. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n When we are caught up in what our life looks like now, focusing on what we don\u2019t like, and trying to manifest from this space of resistance, we are still predominantly in the energy that created what we are trying to change, and so it persists. <\/span><\/p>\n Resisting what we don\u2019t like just adds fuel to the fire. The good news is, however, you don\u2019t have to worry about becoming perfect–you just need to be in a state of non-resistance more<\/em> of the time. But anyway…<\/span><\/p>\n We are not used to feeling \u2018good\u2019 for no reason. We somehow think our discontent with our current circumstances and \u2018wanting\u2019 is integral to the manifesting process. If the Universe doesn\u2019t know how miserable we are without our \u2018stuff\u2019 then maybe it won\u2019t bring it to us, it will conclude we don\u2019t want it, so thinks our mind. <\/span><\/p>\n So if you find yourself in the position of slipping back into frustration things aren\u2019t quite to your liking yet, here are a few insights that might help, ones that aren\u2019t going to be brand new if you\u2019ve spent time any amount of time on this site, but ideas we often need to be reminded of quite frequently. We are dealing with some deep conditioning here remember. <\/span><\/p>\n So, you read about the law of attraction, and discover a very wonderful thing–your energy creates your reality. How you feel, what you believe, will be mirrored back to you in every aspect of your life, from your health to your finances. <\/span><\/p>\n If you believe what you want it is possible, it is. If you think positively, things will go your way. If you believe the Universe is set up to work for you and not against you, you will be able to more easily receive all manner of assistance it is capable of providing. <\/span><\/p>\n If you act like you already have what you want, it will make its way in sooner than later. If you act \u2018as if\u2019 your reality will follow suit. <\/span><\/p>\n So it becomes clear to us we need to make some modifications–sometimes major–to how we are currently operating, how we are feeling, what we believe, how we view ourselves. <\/span><\/p>\n Unless we make said modifications, we won\u2019t be able to get what we want, according to the law of attraction. <\/span><\/p>\n So in order to get our \u2018stuff\u2019 we work on getting happy, on feeling \u2018good.\u2019 If that is what is required of us, we will play ball. <\/span><\/p>\n We are working on feeling better, not just for the sake of feeling better, of improving our well-being and emotional health, but as a means to an end, a way to get something. <\/span><\/p>\n We want stuff, and we think this is a way to get it. No use pretending this isn\u2019t the primary motivator for pretty much everyone who expresses an interest in this teaching. It\u2019s fine. There is nothing wrong with wanting what we want, and no reason we can\u2019t have it. <\/span><\/p>\n But this doesn\u2019t<\/em> change the fact if we work on feeling better just<\/em> to get something, we are setting ourselves up for a lot of frustration. It will be really hard to cultivate the \u2018beneficial\u2019 energies more consistently because we will still be operating in the aforementioned outside-in mode. <\/span><\/p>\n Barring manifestations to keep feeding the energy, your mind will fight you on feeling better because you don\u2019t have a \u2018reason\u2019 to feel this way. <\/span><\/p>\n The whole \u2018feeling good\u2019 thing clearly isn\u2019t working so it will be reluctant to keep employing it as a strategy in \u2018Operation: Get My Stuff<\/em>.\u2019 <\/span><\/p>\n So you may be thinking you are now being tasked with trying to get into a space where you have zero desire for what you want, and work on being happy just for the sake of being happy–how boring. You can\u2019t let your \u2018wants\u2019 taint this purest of intentions. <\/span><\/p>\n But I have some good news for you–you don\u2019t have to do that. It would probably be an exercise in futility, and trying to make yourself not want something you clearly want will just make you want it more, and you\u2019ll notice its absence even more. <\/span><\/p>\n Anytime our mind thinks we are giving up on what it wants, it freaks the fuck out, and it will create even more resistance. <\/span><\/p>\n But what you do<\/em> want to do is just keep in mind what you really<\/em> want, which is the feelings. It always comes down to feelings, no exceptions, ever, ever, ever<\/em>. <\/span><\/p>\n We want what we want because we think having it will make us feel things we want to feel. We don\u2019t like what we don\u2019t like in our life now, and we resist certain future outcomes, because these circumstances make us feel things we don\u2019t want to feel. <\/span><\/p>\n If you are using positive emotion simply as a \u2018tool\u2019 to reach the goal of manifesting a specific thing, rather than making it the goal itself, it will be much, much harder to remain in the energies that will serve you more consistently and with less effort. When this is the goal above all else<\/em>, it can bring us down a path we aren’t going to like.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n If we see the law of attraction for what it truly is–a Universal law that has always<\/em> been operating in our lives, and not a \u2018tool\u2019 we can now<\/em> employ to manipulate reality that we just weren\u2019t using previously. \u00a0you see how it can be a good idea to explore your \u2018negative\u2019 energy that you may have now, rather than just focusing on trying to feel \u2018good\u2019 and adopt the beliefs that will serve you, the beliefs you are told you must believe if you want to get what you want. <\/span><\/p>\n Your energy was always creating your reality, but since we weren\u2019t conscious of our energy, not being deliberate in how we were focusing our attention and the like, we were creating by default, not consciously. <\/span><\/p>\n Every time you think about what you don\u2019t have, when you have been feeling good but the frustrations seem to be coming back, that<\/em> energy is what is being activated. That energy is being given more \u2018fuel.\u2019 Those reactions are showing you how you are focusing, what you are believing, what you are thinking. <\/span><\/p>\n Our feelings are messengers delivering us all that \u2018data\u2019 and that<\/em> is why it is so important to pay attention to them, not to ignore them, not to resist them. <\/span><\/p>\n If we don\u2019t take the time to examine what is going on there, our efforts at changing our energy will constantly be thwarted. All that \u2018positive\u2019 energy will not take root as strongly because it has nowhere to take root. <\/span><\/p>\n It is just being \u2018layered\u2019 on top of the more \u2018negative\u2019 energies that have been there a really long time, that have established some deep grooves in your vibration. It\u2019s like giving a little spritz of air freshener in a room full of rotting garbage–it is no match. <\/span><\/p>\n We will have all these \u2018hidden agendas\u2019 to our manifesting–serving our ego, looking for validation, trying to make negative feelings go away,etc\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n It would serve us well to \u2018tidy up\u2019 our energy a bit, to manifest from a \u2018cleaner\u2019 space of feeling okay as we are now, of feeling like we don\u2019t \u2018need\u2019 anything to be happy, of not looking to the manifestations as the answers to our problems. <\/span><\/p>\n So if you think about what you don\u2019t have, and it feels badly, why is that so? What does it make you believe about yourself or how the world works? What do you think it says about you as a person? Why do you specifically feel angry, sad, fearful or anxious? <\/span><\/p>\n Again, it always<\/em> comes back to feelings. If not having what you wanted didn\u2019t feel badly in some way, you probably wouldn\u2019t care about manifesting it. Negative feelings and a sense of \u2018need\u2019 don\u2019t always have to precede our wanting of something, but for most of us, that is going to be the case, especially in the beginning. <\/span> Manifesting from a space of feeling whole, complete and happy now, and wanting things from a space of \u2018hey, that would be cool,\u2019 \u2018hey, this desire is coming from a space of expanding my life, nourishing my soul,etc\u2026\u2019 is an ever-unfolding process in my experience. Making that the truly<\/em> dominant motivator–might never be the sole one– usually takes some time. <\/span><\/p>\n In most cases, we want what we want because not having it feels badly in some way, and we usually need to investigate that a bit. All that is being triggered by the lack of this thing is the real reason you aren\u2019t happy–the meanings, the stories, the conclusions your mind has assigned to your current circumstances, are usually pretty painful. <\/span><\/p>\n Your divorce made you damaged goods and no one will want to be with you. <\/span><\/p>\n The bully in high school was right–you are a loser. <\/span><\/p>\n The other person always ends the relationship–there is something fundamentally unlovable about you. <\/span><\/p>\n Your parents really fucked you up, and you\u2019ll never get your life together. <\/span><\/p>\n You have been struggling with your business for so long, things will probably never turn around. <\/span><\/p>\n All men are assholes.<\/span><\/p>\n All women are psycho. <\/span><\/p>\n Your gender, sexual orientation, race, weight, ethnic background, disability,etc…will always hold you back. <\/span><\/p>\n This examination doesn\u2019t have to be constant, every time you feel a negative feeling. You are not tasked with transforming every \u2018wrinkle\u2019 in your energy completely and fully in order to see a change in your reality. You don\u2019t have to be emotionally \u2018perfect.\u2019 <\/span><\/p>\n But if you are feeling really frustrated by your lack of \u2018progress,\u2019 if you are feeling really attached to something, if you feel like you have been putting in a lot of \u2018effort\u2019 on the manifesting front for a particular thing, there is a very good chance the desire is thoroughly \u2018tainted\u2019 with all sorts of thoughts, beliefs, feelings and perspectives that feel badly. <\/span><\/p>\n And if this is the case, it is something to look at. It might not be comfortable, but it will help you tackle the true root of your unhappiness, and you can get what you want a lot sooner–feeling better. The \u2018stuff\u2019 comes too…don\u2019t fret my pet. No reason for it not<\/em> to. <\/span><\/p>\n Now, you don\u2019t have to do this. You can keep \u2018trying\u2019 to work on your energy so you can manifest things that your mind judges as \u2018good\u2019 so you get to feel better. <\/span><\/p>\n You can can certainly shift it enough to see some changes. This more conscious effort to be more positive,and the like, will count for something no doubt, especially when you compare it to operating on complete auto-pilot. <\/span><\/p>\n But no matter what manifests as a result, it might not provide the emotional payoff you were anticipating since not having the thing was not really why you were upset in the first place. <\/span><\/p>\n But sometimes we might have to experience this truth for ourselves at least once or twice before we are willing to engage in this less desirable aspect of vibrational transformation. <\/span><\/p>\n The key takeaway here is that the bad feelings are coming from within, they aren\u2019t a result of what is happening outside. Remembering this is really helpful in this \u2018work.\u2019 <\/span><\/p>\n Because you were likely drawn to a teaching like the law of attraction to manifest in a specific area of your life, you tend to spend a lot of time trying to shift energy around a particular subject.<\/span><\/p>\n And this is usually something we need to do to some degree because there can be some heavy stuff there energetically. We may have certain hang-ups about this area in particular, and we need to give this \u2018part\u2019 of our energy some individual attention.<\/span><\/p>\n But all this \u2018work\u2019 on our \u2018money vibration,\u2019 \u2018relationship vibration,\u2019 \u2018health vibration\u2019 can backfire because it can make us focus even more on not having it, we get more attached to \u2018making\u2019 it happen by \u2018using\u2019 the law of attraction. <\/span><\/p>\n We often overestimate our \u2018blocks\u2019 and get all anxious there must be a belief hidden in some deep, dark, inaccessible corner of our mind. And if we don\u2019t find it, we are screwed. We\u2019ll never \u2018fix\u2019 what needs to be \u2018fixed.\u2019 <\/span><\/p>\n And an effort that was designed to help us shift negative feelings and thought patterns, to remove energetic obstacles, seems to have the exact opposite effect and just makes it all worse. <\/span><\/p>\n And then we feel like we are \u2018failing,\u2019 we are doing manifesting \u2018wrong\u2019 and we will never get what we want. And this feels a lot worse than it did before, when we didn\u2019t think it was possible at all, and while upsetting, we had some degree of acceptance about it. <\/span><\/p>\n Going general with your vibrational \u2018work\u2019 can be of huge benefit, primarily because it will give you what you want right now–to feel better. All you want is to be happier. If you feel better overall, that will affect all areas of your life, and you will likely see all sorts of changes without having had to focus on that aspect specifically. <\/span><\/p>\n When you are feeling better generally, you will have a much easier time<\/em> adopting perspectives about your life now that feel better. You\u2019ll feel more confident things will get better, that solutions to problems you may be facing now will present themselves, even if you can’t see ‘how’ right now.<\/span><\/p>\n And again, this is a boon to your vibe. Your energy will stabilize; you won\u2019t be knocked out of higher states so easily. Feeling better ,and more positive, will become more second nature, more your default setting, and not something you have \u2018try\u2019 so hard to make happen. <\/span><\/p>\n So what could help you achieve all that right now? <\/span><\/p>\n How can you enjoy your life more? How can you take better care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually? <\/span><\/p>\n Where is the negativity in your life now, the drain, the struggle? What steps can you take to start rectifying that? <\/span><\/p>\n Where are you neglecting yourself and how can you change that? <\/span><\/p>\n As far as action goes, taking certain actions can be of benefit because it helps create the expectation things will happen for us. <\/span><\/p>\n If we examine our lack of desire to take certain actions that might be beneficial to us, we might find various energetic \u2018issues\u2019 that were contributing (lack of confidence, fear of criticism,etc\u2026), and if we \u2018clear\u2019 them up, we will want to take certain actions, not because we feel we \u2018must\u2019 but because we want to, they feel light, right, good, and\/or fun. <\/span><\/p>\n It is important to establish the difference between action we take to try and force results we want, and core actions that are necessary to open up a certain path, to bring something into existence.<\/span><\/p>\n No amount of energetic work will get the latter done for you–you will have to make certain choices, make certain decisions, take certain steps. There is a difference between creating through energetic alignment, and withdrawing from participating in your own life, hoping the Universe or God takes care of it all for you. <\/span><\/p>\n The role of action is something we may always overestimate given our conditioning, and we\u2019ll have to honor this, and work within that paradigm. Taking action can also be fun ,and something we will likely want to do in various respects, such as in a business about which we are really passionate. <\/span><\/p>\n The key is remembering it is always<\/em> the energy that will determine the result, that actions are manifestations of energy. So we want to do our best to act from that aligned space. We act, but with detachment to specific results. The actions feel inspired.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n What did you think? Anything resonate in particular? What advice would you give for someone feeling frustrated with this process, with their current reality? Looking forward to your comments as always.<\/p>\n Have a question you think would make a good blog post? Submit it here<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n Having trouble applying the teaching of the law of attraction in your life? Frustrated that something that seems so simple is proving to be really hard? Then check out my new class series starting October 22nd:\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\nOur Hardest But Most Important Lesson <\/span><\/h4>\n
What is the Absence Triggering? <\/span><\/h4>\n
\n<\/span><\/p>\nOverall Energy Management<\/span><\/h4>\n
Creating Opportunities<\/span><\/h4>\n
Your Turn<\/span><\/h4>\n