{"id":626,"date":"2014-07-23T06:03:46","date_gmt":"2014-07-23T10:03:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/blog\/?p=626"},"modified":"2021-08-02T05:08:33","modified_gmt":"2021-08-02T05:08:33","slug":"calgon-take-away-coping-stresses-daily-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/calgon-take-away-coping-stresses-daily-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Calgon, Take Me Away: Coping with the Stresses of Daily Life"},"content":{"rendered":"

Fortunately, for many of us, we are not pelted with one horrific tragedy after another, day in and day out. In the grand scheme of things, the issues plaguing us on a daily basis are relatively small. But, when we have lots of \u2018little\u2019 things assaulting us day after day, big<\/em> problems can result .<\/span><\/p>\n

If we tune into our thoughts and emotions in our waking hours, we may find a lot of the time we are not feeling so hot, and the raging river of thoughts coursing through our minds is full of ick.<\/span><\/p>\n

For this reason, it would behoove us to find effective strategies for coping with these myriad stressors in a more effective manner. The difference it can make can be life-changing.<\/span><\/p>\n

We all have our own unique blend of stressors, and what they trigger within us; we all have our habits and behaviors that tend to kick things up a notch problem-wise.<\/span><\/p>\n

One of my biggest problems personally is getting annoyed and agitated way too easily by little things, leading me to say things like \u2018I\u2019m so mad I could kick a baby.\u2019 No, I would never actually harm a child, so relax.<\/span><\/p>\n

When Ryan tries to talk me off the\u2019 ledge,\u2019his calm, cool collected demeanor makes me want to punch him right in the face, and no I have never done that either. Hmm..I may have some violence issues that I have been repressing. \ud83d\ude42 I roll my eyes so much ,and so intensely, I\u2019m surprised my eyeballs haven\u2019t detached and fallen right out of my head.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, yeah, I have my stuff too, and I have done a lot of work over the years to curb it, and I have made some pretty good progress. I accept I will never be perfect\u2014the best we can shoot for is better.<\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t let your stress consume you. Don\u2019t take pride in high stress levels, and being able to take infinite amounts of crap\u2014it\u2019s not something of which to be proud. Being unhappy isn\u2019t \u2018cool.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Regardless of the particular ingredients in your \u2018stress stew,\u2019 I feel there are some core strategies that can help across the board, and I would like to share a few of them with you today.<\/span><\/p>\n

Respond, Don\u2019t React<\/span><\/h2>\n

When we can learn to respond, and not react automatically, to the different events that get our stress-meter rising, how we move through our day can change dramatically. This is a tough one because after years and years of handling situations in a certain way, we react largely out of habit.<\/span><\/p>\n

Certain behaviors and emotions have been deeply embedded, and are activated almost instantaneously when we are faced with some sort of unpleasant situation, whether it is your mother\u2019s daily dose of judgment and criticism of your life choices , the unexpected nightmare traffic jam, or an angry voicemail from a client about some issue that is your responsibility to solve.<\/span><\/p>\n

When we simply react, we get swept away in the situation, and everything gets intensified. We suffer more than we have to. The more elegant solutions can escape us; we may say or do things we will come to regret, perhaps a mere few minutes down the line; we get all worked up about things that are really not that big a deal. Reacting makes us feel powerless, and that our well-being is in the hands of outside forces.<\/span><\/p>\n

But, when we respond, our head is clearer; we have a healthier perspective on the issue; we come up with solutions to the problems more quickly; we don\u2019t say and do things that will just cause us even more problems and mental distress. Responding keeps our emotions from getting the best of us.<\/span><\/p>\n

I wish I could say there was some magic formula that could help you adopt this behavior, but there really isn\u2019t. It is one of those things that you just have to embed into your awareness, so when issues arise, you remember this little piece of wisdom and act accordingly. Reading it in a blog post like this is one great way to keep this top-of-mind, so you’re welcome.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

Actually, I take that back. There is one thing you can do that produces results that seem kind of magical, and that is meditation. So, get on that stat.<\/span><\/p>\n

Choose Your Battles Wisely<\/span><\/h2>\n

On any given day, we are faced with numerous opportunities to choose between just letting things be, and arguing, proving we are right, and all that other lovely stuff prompted by our egos. And, day after day, we often choose the latter.<\/span><\/p>\n

We just can\u2019t help it, and it causes us nothing but grief. When I set out to reduce my stress, and just feel better in day to day life, this was one of the first lessons I learned, and it changed my world.<\/span><\/p>\n

And I am not just talking about avoiding dramatic fights and \u2018big\u2019 stuff, I am talking about all the little things too that can make us feel stressed and yucky. Remember what I said earlier\u2014all the little things can add up to big problems, and making us feel generally gross much of the day.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, my second tip is choose your battles wisely. When you see yourself going down this path, and you know it will just result in fights, hurt feelings, pointless arguments, anger and all that other good stuff, really stop and think if it is worth it.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you hold an opinion on a subject that you know is at complete odds with the company you are currently keeping, do you have it in you to just not say anything? Will the conversation be some fabulous discourse driven by an intelligent exchange of ideas, or just essentially an argument between people who get overly emotional defending their points of view?<\/span><\/p>\n

If there is some aspect of your life that people close to you don\u2019t approve of, or don\u2019t understand, and your efforts to explain or defend yourself always seem to prove fruitless, can you learn to stop trying, and just get more comfortable with the fact that other people aren\u2019t on board?<\/span><\/p>\n

Do you have it in you to just let things go that you would normally make a big stink about, like insisting on talking to a manager about a rude waitress, or demanding you be able to return an item at the store when you technically aren\u2019t allowed to?<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not advocating being a doormat, never complaining or expressing your opinion. I am just simply stating there are times when not doing so is the smarter move in my humble opinion. Because most of the time, doing so will not really give you any significant benefit, and just serves to make you feel worse.<\/span><\/p>\n

Keep Some Perspective<\/span><\/h2>\n

Perspective is an amazing thing. One of the most empowering truths we can ever embrace is we have total control over how we view a situation, and how we respond to it. Another truth is this is really freaking hard sometimes.<\/span><\/p>\n

Traveling has really helped me with this. Having been in areas where people don\u2019t have as much money, freedom and the like has made me realize how good I have it. Whether my birth into a first world country, full of wealth and opportunity, was complete randomness, or I chose this incarnation this time around for whatever reason, I\u2019m glad I am who I am.<\/span><\/p>\n

Do I always choose the amazing perspective that keeps me cool, calm and stress-free? Definitely not. But, I am getting better at realizing in the moment how ridiculous I am being sometimes– like when I get all bent out of shape the overnight bus I booked that was billed as \u2018luxury\u2019 doesn\u2019t even provide a blanket and snacks. I know\u2026.the horror.<\/span><\/p>\n

Naturally, we have a preference for good and happy situations, and an aversion to unpleasant stuff. Unless you are the most spiritually advanced person, you will probably never achieve complete equanimity. You are a human with a splendid range of emotions.<\/span><\/p>\n

But, we can learn look at the myriad issues that stress us out on a day-to-day basis in a different way. We can realize we have a choice how to look at it, and this will determine how we feel about it, and we can look at things in a way that make us feel better<\/em>.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, when you find yourself getting stressed about something, step back and do a bit of evaluation. What is really going on here? How much are you really being put out by the particular situation? Is the reaction you are having proportionate to the issue at hand?<\/span><\/p>\n

Can you see this in a different light, in a way that makes you feel less stressed, angry, frustrated or whatever? Could the situation be worse? The answer to this last question is most likely a big, fat yes.<\/span><\/p>\n

When the idea of perspective seeps deeper into your awareness, you begin to realize how much power we have over our feelings and behavior. We realize our well-being and happiness is not determined by what is happening around us, but rather within.<\/span><\/p>\n

Till next time\u2026.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Fortunately, for many of us, we are not pelted with one horrific tragedy after another, day in and day out. In the grand scheme of things, the issues plaguing us on a daily basis are relatively small. But, when we have lots of \u2018little\u2019 things assaulting us day after day, big problems can result . […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22],"tags":[13,21,37,70],"class_list":["post-626","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-happiness","tag-challenges","tag-coping","tag-perspective","tag-stress"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/626","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=626"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/626\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=626"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=626"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=626"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}