{"id":6210,"date":"2017-07-18T18:30:48","date_gmt":"2017-07-18T22:30:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/blog\/?p=6210"},"modified":"2021-08-02T06:02:50","modified_gmt":"2021-08-02T06:02:50","slug":"law-attraction-can-stop-trying-control-outcomes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/law-attraction-can-stop-trying-control-outcomes\/","title":{"rendered":"Law of Attraction: How Can I Stop Trying to Control Outcomes?"},"content":{"rendered":"

How to let go of trying to control an outcome, even though it almost feels better than just ‘letting go’?<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

The Root of Control<\/span><\/h4>\n

Fear is at the root of pretty much all our manifesting \u2018troubles\u2019 when you think about it, and it is particularly prevalent when it comes to controlling outcomes.<\/span><\/p>\n

We fear we won\u2019t get what we want so we want to do all we can to ensure we do. <\/span><\/p>\n

We fear that whatever person, opportunity or experience is presenting itself to us may be the best we can hope for, so we make our best effort to guarantee it all works out in our favor. <\/span><\/p>\n

This thing is the best version, or perhaps only version, of what we want that has shown up thus far, ,and out of fear nothing better will come along, we desperately latch on, trying to make it happen. This scenario is particularly common among manifesting ‘newbies’ when their vibe first starts shifting.<\/span><\/p>\n

If we try hard enough, we might be able to make this manifestation happen. If we plot, plan, strategize, manipulate and troubleshoot just right, we\u2019ll get what we want, and we\u2019ll finally be happy. <\/span><\/p>\n

If we have our hands in the process, if we take actions we believe will contribute to our desired outcomes, there is at least a chance things might go our way. <\/span><\/p>\n

And this is why trying to control outcomes, even if it doesn\u2019t feel very good overall, still probably feels better than letting go.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you let go, you might not get what you want. If you let go, maybe the Universe will think you don\u2019t want what you want anymore, and will cancel the order.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you let go, the Universe, when left to its own devices, might bring what you want in a form that you don’t want it in, and then what if you’re stuck with that?<\/p>\n

If you let go, and let energy do its thing, you will be faced with the uncomfortable task of diving into your shit, and that is another aspect where fear can rule the day. We don\u2019t want to go there. <\/span><\/p>\n

We don\u2019t want to feel our feelings. And knowing what we know about the law of attraction, we know manifesting at our \u2018peak\u2019 capacity, \u00a0that really tapping into that flow, requires this of us. <\/span><\/p>\n

There is a part of us that would much rather take the action-oriented approach, thinking that enough \u2018doing\u2019 or \u2018trying\u2019 will eventually bear fruit. Then we can bypass that part of the process. <\/span><\/p>\n

We hope that making a vision board or saying some affirmations will be sufficient to do the trick on the energy side of things, and we can bypass the uncomfortable inner work. We will get the things that our mind thinks will make the bad feelings go away, and again, no need to make those inner transformations. The manifestations will \u2018fix\u2019 all that, so why bother? <\/span><\/p>\n

The Most Important Thing to Remember<\/span><\/h4>\n

When it comes to letting go of attachment, and trying to control outcomes, the most important thing you must remember is your mind does not understand infinite possibility.<\/span><\/p>\n

It only acknowledges what has already happened, what is right in front of your face, the possibilities it can formulate. Anything beyond that just doesn\u2019t exist according to your mind.<\/span><\/p>\n

But just because your mind can\u2019t see it, doesn\u2019t mean it doesn\u2019t exist. <\/span><\/p>\n

In theory I think we understand this pretty well, but in practice, we often fail miserably at keeping this little nugget in the forefront of our mind, of actually considering this truth. <\/span><\/p>\n

Because your mind functions like this, it gets extremely attached to anything that comes into your reality that seems to be the answers to your problems, that seems to be the ticket to making your bad feelings to go away, that seems to be a fit for what you want. <\/span><\/p>\n

And maybe this thing is ‘the’ thing, but if it is truly a good representation, it will come easily<\/em>. There will be no forcing, manipulating or controlling required of you. <\/span><\/p>\n

The more you feel you need to do this, the more likely this thing isn\u2019t \u2018the\u2019 thing, and this mode of operation will be the very issue keeping \u2018the\u2019 thing from coming in. <\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

The more you allow yourself to entertain the possibility of infinite possibility, and your mind\u2019s utter and total inability to understand this, the easier you will find it to detach, and stop trying to force things to happen, stop trying to control every facet of your life. <\/span><\/p>\n

Fear Equals Lack of Trust<\/span><\/h4>\n

If we knew without a doubt this whole law of attraction thing was the real deal, we would never<\/em> dream of trying to control outcomes. That feels badly and takes us out of the natural flow of the manifesting process.<\/span><\/p>\n

We know that something even better could come along, so why try to force this situation?<\/span><\/p>\n

We know the manifesting process is supposed to be easy, and controlling outcomes, forcing results, and manipulating circumstances definitely doesn\u2019t smack of \u2018easy.\u2019 <\/span><\/p>\n

We know there are infinite possibilities, so if something didn\u2019t work out, no big deal. Something else will come along in perfect time. <\/span><\/p>\n

But we don\u2019t<\/em> know this without a shred of doubt. We have a lot of conditioning that makes adopting this perspective quite challenging to say the least. <\/span><\/p>\n

We may not have very much evidence of things working like this in our own life, so our mind isn\u2019t going to fully get on board right away without any \u2018proof.\u2019 <\/span><\/p>\n

So, yeah, we don\u2019t fully trust this process or that this is how things work. That\u2019s very<\/em> understandable. <\/span><\/p>\n

But this trust, this faith is a necessary<\/em> part of the equation. That we have the ability to have faith in the unseen and unproven is not an accident. <\/span><\/p>\n

This is what allows us to connect to this unseen world of spirit, to these teachings, something we may never be able to \u2018prove\u2019 in traditional ways. <\/span><\/p>\n

The trust has to come before<\/em> we start seeing these Universal laws playing out in our own lives. <\/span><\/p>\n

We can\u2019t wait for manifestations to come that justify the trust. We can insist we\u2019ll believe it when we see it. <\/span><\/p>\n

You have to trust there is something to the intuitive resonance you feel with the idea energy precedes physical manifestations, and this energy is something we can control by way of our focus and belief system. <\/span><\/p>\n

You have to trust the intuitive resonance you feel with the idea the Universe is not just a collection of gas, and whatever else it\u2019s made of–not sure what that is– but a \u2018force\u2019 set up to work for you and not against you, a partner of sorts. <\/span><\/p>\n

You have to trust the good feelings you get from these beliefs that make you feel really good and empowered are alerting you to something that is true. <\/span><\/p>\n

If even some part of us is willing to trust in all of this, you will see how unnecessary it is to control outcomes, to get attached, to act from a space of fear and lack. You will see the futility of trying to control things that ultimately you can\u2019t control. <\/span><\/p>\n

If you trust it is your energy that creates, you know so long as you cultivate the energies that would make you a match to money, relationships, and whatever else it is you would like to see in your life, they will show up.<\/span><\/p>\n

You will take actions that feel good and inspired, and refrain from the ones that don\u2019t because you realize these bad-feeling actions are an indicator you are already out of alignment–remember our actions are a manifestation of energy. <\/span><\/p>\n

Now you don\u2019t have to do any of this, and you can probably still manage to get some of the stuff your mind wants. People do it all the time, the world over. <\/span><\/p>\n

You can continue trying to force things to happen and manipulate outcomes, and eventually you will probably succeed. <\/span><\/p>\n

This way is so much harder though. It closes you off to possibilities that might be even better than the things on which your mind is focusing. You are cutting the Universe out of the process, and it can handle this all so much better<\/em> than you can.<\/span><\/p>\n

It will probably take a lot longer. It will probably require you to take all sorts of actions that don\u2019t feel very good, that feel very hard or unpleasant in some way. <\/span><\/p>\n

When we pay such a high price to bring what we want into our lives, we tend not to enjoy the \u2018stuff\u2019 very much once it gets there. If the journey feels badly, the destination probably won\u2019t provide much relief. <\/span><\/p>\n

The Space Your Mind is Coming From<\/span><\/h4>\n

Some sort of lack usually draws us to a teaching like the law of attraction. There are things we don\u2019t have that we would like to have, and there is promise that maybe, just maybe we can get them.<\/span><\/p>\n

Our wants are typically preceded by a sense of need. We believe this thing is integral to our happiness, to making the bad feelings we feel now go away.<\/span><\/p>\n

If we feel like something is essential to our happiness, of course we are going to get very attached to making it happen, we are going to feel compelled to take actions to ensure it comes. The problems with these actions is that they tend not to help very much ,or have their desired effect, but that\u2019s a story for another day.<\/span><\/p>\n

The pain we feel without it tends to get amplified once we start consciously \u2018trying\u2019 to manifest it. We get anxious. We get impatient. <\/span><\/p>\n

We obsess over trying to understand \u2018how\u2019 the law of attraction works so we are guaranteed to do it \u2018right\u2019 and get our stuff. This thing\u2019s absence looms larger and larger in our life. <\/span><\/p>\n

Our mind is working from a space of minimizing the \u2018ick.\u2019 This \u2018ick\u2019 can take many forms–sadness, anger, frustration, anxiety, hopelessness, resentment, fear–and our mind sees the manifestation as the antidote. <\/span><\/p>\n

We are so desperate for these feelings to go away, and this desperation certainly doesn\u2019t do us any favors in the conscious creation department. <\/span><\/p>\n

This resistance to our current emotions, coupled with the idea that X, Y or Z is ABSOLUTELY necessary for our happiness creates a recipe for energetic \u2018disaster\u2019 if you will. <\/span><\/p>\n

Of course you are going to try and control outcomes if you are desperate for something to happen, if you feel like you must have it to be happy. <\/span><\/p>\n

Of course you are going to get attached to anything that shows up that your mind thinks will take away these feelings. <\/span><\/p>\n

We carry this tendency to want to control everything into this energy \u2018work\u2019, but instead of action being the primary form of control, we try to control through the power of our mind, seeing the law of attraction as a tool to bend reality to its precise will. <\/span><\/p>\n

We easily fall into the trap of thinking that the mere wanting of something will guarantee its arrival. We have an inaccurate understanding of the role that the \u2018tools\u2019 like affirmations play in the process, thinking if we do these things enough, eventually our reality will change, no matter how little our energy has truly shifted. <\/span><\/p>\n

But I\u2019m veering a bit off topic here. So, yeah, your mind is trying to manifest from a space of wanting to make your bad feelings go away, of resisting your current reality, and seeing the manifestations as the answer to all your problems. <\/span><\/p>\n

This makes manifesting a lot harder; this makes it a lot harder to let go of trying to control outcomes; this makes it a lot harder to walk away from the actions that feel painful, but you feel like you must take or else you won\u2019t get what you want; this makes it a lot harder to detach from specific people \u00a0and opportunities that have the veneer of giving you what you want, but may or may not be<\/em> the best match. <\/span><\/p>\n

So, What\u2019s Really Going On?<\/span><\/h4>\n

A key component of breaking this habit of wanting to control outcomes, breaking your attachments to specific outcomes ,manifesting simply to minimize pain, is a willingness to examine what lies at the root of these behaviors.<\/span><\/p>\n

And this root is the bad feelings being triggered by the lack of whatever it is you are looking to manifest. <\/span><\/p>\n

The lack is triggering something already<\/em> there, something that has been there for a long time probably. <\/span><\/p>\n

Our mind can\u2019t really understand this though. Your mind sees that you are upset because you don\u2019t have enough money, because you don\u2019t have a boyfriend, because you don\u2019t like your job.<\/span><\/p>\n

So naturally the answer is the money, the boyfriend or the better job. With this line of reasoning, it all makes perfect sense. <\/span><\/p>\n

But let\u2019s remember your mind hasn\u2019t got a freaking clue<\/em> what\u2019s really going on. It doesn\u2019t actually care all that much about whether you are happy; it really has no interesting in healing your energetic \u2018wounds.\u2019 <\/span><\/p>\n

It just wants to get what it wants, and sees the law of attraction as a tool to facilitate that. It craves the ego boost that comes from thinking it can control and make things happen.<\/span><\/p>\n

We’re so afraid we aren’t going to get what we want; we are so terrified of certain outcomes, and we just want to be able to control everything so we never have to face these possibilities, but this fear and \u00a0trying to control is the very thing<\/em> that makes these unwanted scenarios most likely to happen.<\/p>\n

So, what\u2019s going on inside? How does the lack make you feel? What meanings, conclusions and stories are being assigned to the current circumstances of your life? <\/span><\/p>\n

When we understand the manifestations aren\u2019t the answer, we don\u2019t feel so desperate to make things happen. That desire to control starts to fade. <\/span><\/p>\n

We don\u2019t keep \u2018mucking\u2019 up the positive energy we are working on building, by constantly looking for our stuff, by letting our current circumstances dictate our dominant energy. <\/span><\/p>\n

We allow ourselves to truly be open to possibility, and recognize that what our mind wants may not be<\/em> the best representation of what we really want, and we relax a bit. <\/span><\/p>\n

We allow ourselves to pull back when things start feeling too hard, or when we start to see we are moving into the territory of control, and \u2018trying\u2019 too much, because we know this energy is not conducive to the process.<\/span><\/p>\n

When we start getting some momentum behind this way of operating, attachment and control will never<\/em> feel better than letting go and surrender.<\/p>\n

You can want whatever you want, but you are no longer looking at these manifestations as some sort of linchpin to your happiness. <\/span><\/p>\n

If you start feeling better now, you aren\u2019t in such a rush to manifest, and you won\u2019t desperately glom onto any opportunity that comes in, trying to force the manifestation through this channel through bad-feeling actions or focusing on it intensely in a way that probably doesn\u2019t feel very good. <\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019ll focus on the true root of the discontent, transform that, and from that \u2018cleaner\u2019 energy you\u2019ll manifest with greater ease. Things will come together with very little effort or meddling on your part. <\/span><\/p>\n

Make peace with the fact that you will probably get attached sometimes, that you will probably try to control outcomes sometimes, that you will get scared something better might not come along, that your mind will insist this is \u2018the\u2019 thing.<\/span><\/p>\n

But just be willing to keep in mind that maybe it\u2019s not \u2018the\u2019 thing–maybe there is an even better job, maybe there is an even better opportunity or source of income, maybe your ex-boyfriend isn\u2019t the person you are supposed to end up with, and he came into your life for a different reason, to show you something that will help you let in the person that truly<\/em> is \u2018the\u2019 one. <\/span><\/p>\n

Be willing to keep in mind you literally don\u2019t know of all the other people, opportunities, jobs, potential clients and other channels that exist. So don\u2019t get too hung up on any one. <\/span><\/p>\n

The Only Solution<\/span><\/h4>\n

The only thing you can really do is–if at least a part of you believes there is something to all this<\/em>–make a conscious choice to trust in the process, to take actions, make decisions and behave in a way that reflects that trust, even if it sometimes feels really uncomfortable. <\/span><\/p>\n

You can\u2019t manifest miracles from a space of minimizing the \u2018ick.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

The Universe can\u2019t help you if you won\u2019t let it. <\/span><\/p>\n

You can\u2019t let in the best representations of the energies you want in your life, when you attach to whatever has shown up in the moment, and try to force it to happen. <\/span><\/p>\n

The easy way can\u2019t present itself when you insist on doing things the hard way. <\/span><\/p>\n

You can\u2019t insist on not feeling better until something shows up to justify it; you can\u2019t keep using the current appearance of your life as a justification for your negativity and limiting beliefs.<\/span><\/p>\n

You can\u2019t keep insisting you know ,without a doubt, that whatever your mind wants now is \u2018the\u2019 best thing for you.<\/span><\/p>\n

The energy has to come first. Only then can you experience reality in this easier, more pleasant way.<\/span><\/p>\n

Your Turn<\/span><\/h4>\n

What did you think? Anything resonate in particular? Do you have any thoughts on detaching from outcomes and trying to control them? Looking forward to your thoughts as always.<\/p>\n

Have a question you think would make a good blog post? Submit it here<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How to let go of trying to control an outcome, even though it almost feels better than just ‘letting go’? The Root of Control Fear is at the root of pretty much all our manifesting \u2018troubles\u2019 when you think about it, and it is particularly prevalent when it comes to controlling outcomes. We fear we […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10870,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[40],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6210","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-law-of-attraction"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6210","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6210"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6210\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10870"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6210"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6210"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6210"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}