Today I am answering some questions regarding the law of attraction and self-love asked by one of my awesome readers. Enjoy…<\/p>\n
My question has to do with self esteem or self love. I’ve recently made a lot of changes in my life after a very hard few years. I recently started learning all about LAO and practicing manifesting methods, I just quit my job that was making me sick and miserable and I started seeing a therapist.<\/em><\/p>\n My question is, do you have any self esteem\/self love building methods that are perhaps LOA-friendly as I feel like the things I’m being told to practice from my therapist just sort of make me feel unmotivated and bad… And I AM actually motivated to help myself, but it just feels like there might be a better\/quicker way than going to see a therapist once a week and making slow grueling progress.<\/em><\/p>\n To sum up: is there an LOA- friendly way to build my self love that makes me FEEL good as I do it and supports my manifestation path?<\/em> Typically the concept of \u2018motivation\u2019 has a positive connotation. We want to create some sort of positive change in our life. Something is not working for us now and we want to make it better.<\/p>\n And generally speaking, that is a good thing. A sense of contrast is helpful in figuring out what we like and what we want. That is usually the catalyst.<\/p>\n But beyond that point of using contrast to get clarity, trying to change our life from a space of pushing against our current reality, resisting it, is one of the cruxes of our manifesting woes.<\/p>\n There is a strong energy of feeling badly about where are are now, of judgment of the situation and ourselves. We are not good enough now and we must fix that.<\/p>\n And when we try to manifest from that space or change our self-image, it tends not to go very well. We struggle a lot. Our \u2018issues\u2019 and limiting beliefs seem to loom large constantly, and we feel powerless against them.<\/p>\n When it comes to doing this inner work, and making these various changes we want to make in our life, and how we regard ourselves, we must do it from a loving space, a space where we don\u2019t have such a negative view of what is happening now.<\/p>\n We want to see how all that junk is serving us and the messages it is delivering. We want to integrate those different parts of ourselves, without judging any of them as wrong.<\/p>\n We don\u2019t want to look at ourselves as \u2018wrong\u2019 or \u2018broken\u2019 in any way, but rather just trying to live up to our full potential, and seeing ourselves for what we really are, a being that is already whole, perfect and complete.<\/p>\n We just want to shed all that doesn\u2019t support that image. We have to realize the key to our healing, health and happiness is not so much cultivating that \u2018positivity\u2019 but rather diving into the \u2018muck\u2019 and transforming that.<\/p>\n And in doing that, the more positive self-image, the self-love, the faith, the trust and all that good stuff comes more naturally without us needing to try and \u2018create\u2019 it. All of that is already there, it is just hidden by the other stuff.<\/p>\n While I can certainly recommend some practical tools to cultivate that self-love and shift in self-image, it is so important to know the key is just deciding we will see ourselves differently plain and simple. I\u2019ll include some suggestions at the end of this post though .<\/p>\n I know our mind really doesn\u2019t comprehend that because it is very action-oriented and as such, gets very fixated on tools, techniques and processes.<\/p>\n And those things certainly have their place and can be very valuable as they allow us to consciously engage with our energy. We need something to sink our teeth into.<\/p>\n In my coaching practice, I give clients all sorts of things to do in between our phone sessions to build that energetic momentum. So I am definitely a proponent.<\/p>\n But those things are only valuable insofar as they help us shift our energy and perspectives. This means that there is no one tool or technique that will work for everyone; that means that you can \u2018do\u2019 these things but they can\u2019t make anything happen.<\/p>\n The key is really that decision that you will no longer believe the things about yourself that you believe now that make you feel badly.<\/p>\n The key is realizing that all the meaning you assigned to things that happened in your life, things that people said to you that made you feel badly about yourself was assigned by you, is not any sort of objective fact, and actually isn\u2019t true.<\/p>\n The key is realizing that you are perfect, whole and complete as you are, and all the various neuroses you may have developed over time can be dropped more easily than you may think now. The foundation on which they were built is actually not real.<\/p>\n No matter how much your circumstances may suggest you are lacking in some way, who you really are is never lacking. And in deciding to recognize that \u2018fullness\u2019 you begin to attract it into your life.<\/p>\n In deciding you will acknowledge the good things about yourself, in deciding you will see yourself as someone who is worthy and deserving of love, prosperity and all that other good stuff, in deciding there is nothing \u2018wrong\u2019 or \u2018bad\u2019 about you, you will begin to strengthen those energies and perspectives.<\/p>\n You will begin to manifest a reality that reflects back this higher regard in which you hold yourself.<\/p>\n And while we don\u2019t want to rely on outside manifestations to make us \u2018feel better\u2019 that validation will be powerful and will be very helpful in allowing you to continue making those choices.<\/p>\n Hmm…weird advice huh? Isn\u2019t action supposed to come when the energy has been addressed first? Yes. But, when it comes to cultivating self-love, while we are nurturing that energy, it is important to start taking actions that reflect self-love. The actions we take will help support that energy in our day to day life.<\/p>\n We need to start treating ourselves better, which facilitates the energetic shifts and the change in how we view ourselves. We can\u2019t wait to start making decisions that demonstrate self-love until we feel more loving towards ourselves to the point where those actions feel totally normal.<\/p>\n Now this can be a bit tricky because if the energy is weaker, we may not feel so inclined to take certain actions and make certain decisions that demonstrate self-love. We will be more inclined to act in ways that reflect our low self-esteem and lack of love.<\/p>\n So, it\u2019s okay if you falter a bit. It may be uncomfortable but you got to power through.<\/p>\n I want to start off with a big \u2018ol disclaimer here…I am in no way making any broad statements about therapy that it is \u2018bad\u2019 or doesn\u2019t work. Different methods of growth and healing work for different people and I am sure there are plenty who have benefitted from therapy.<\/em><\/p>\n There are lots of different types of therapies and lots of different types of therapists. To just put it all in one big pile and dismiss it would be ignorant of me.<\/p>\n I have no doubt there are lots of therapists who take a holistic approach to therapy that takes into account our spiritual nature, and for someone interested in exploring that aspect of themselves, work with that type of therapist would probably be very beneficial.<\/p>\n But many people are left \u2018wanting\u2019 and this may be due to a few different reasons in my opinion.<\/p>\n First, many therapists approach the mind as this isolated entity that is \u2018broken.\u2019 The issue is a \u2018malfunctioning\u2019 brain and it has to be fixed.<\/p>\n Often times, drugs are a primary component of this solution. Of course I realize not everyone who goes to a therapist uses medication.<\/p>\n Nothing wrong with that…I personally know many people who experienced very positive improvements in their life after starting anti-anxiety\/anti-depressant drugs. We have a strong belief in medicine to heal us, and in taking medicine, we can experience healing.<\/p>\n But many find this approach doesn\u2019t quite give them the relief they hoped for, and this is because the true root of our issue is spiritual\/emotional. I don\u2019t believe it just boils down to chemical imbalances in the brain.<\/p>\n Those wounds can\u2019t be addressed by drugs. They can only be addressed by healing the separation we have from spirit, God, the Universe or whatever your preferred term.<\/p>\n These wounds can only be addressed by nurturing our inner being, finding some sense of purpose or fulfillment and realizing our true nature–a powerful being who can shape her reality, who is whole, perfect and complete.<\/p>\n For some, the medication can lay a nice foundation for this inner work by offering some relief from symptoms that made normal functioning seem impossible.<\/p>\n The second reason therapy can be problematic for some is the deep digging into the past, and the endless examination of how that impacted our present.<\/p>\n That certainly has value, and in doing law of attraction type-work, you are definitely going to do that. Technically we don\u2019t have to, but our mind is going to want to \u2018figure out\u2019 where all our shit came from.<\/p>\n But the deeper<\/em> we dive into those stories, and the more<\/em> we link how we feel NOW to what happened THEN, the more fodder our mind has to justify the limiting beliefs, the victim mentality, the distorted self-image, the self-sabotaging behavior.<\/p>\n It is so important to know the past really doesn\u2019t matter<\/em>–this isn\u2019t to just dismiss the pain and shitty stuff. I\u2019m not just telling you to suck it up and get over it.<\/p>\n But we have to realize the past isn\u2019t the problem–it is how we are viewing it and how we are using it to guide our decisions and such\u00a0now<\/em>.<\/p>\n For someone who felt he wasn\u2019t loved as a child for example because he had distant or abusive parents, the issue is not that lack of love from them in the past<\/em>, it is the lack of love he is giving himself now in the present.<\/em><\/p>\n We can dig, dig, dig into the past for months or years on end, and it doesn\u2019t necessarily mean it will help us uncover anything that will help us now<\/em>.<\/p>\n Therapy can also focus a lot on actions to take to make changes in our life. And taking certain actions in our life is certainly a necessary component of improving it–we need to focus on our health more, deal with stress better, manage our time better, set boundaries, take steps towards achieving certain goals and intentions we have set,etc\u2026<\/p>\n But action is on the level of \u2018effect.\u2019 Our actions are infused with energies and it is those energies that will determine the results in our lives, not the actions.<\/p>\n When we act without examining what is driving our actions and decisions, we tend to create similar patterns and situations for ourselves over and over again. We may experience some positive results for sure, but they tend to be short-lived, or we don\u2019t feel as good as we thought we would making such a change.<\/p>\n We may be doing all the \u2018right\u2019 things but something is still \u2018off.\u2019<\/p>\n And lastly, there is the idea that therapy must take a long time. And our expectations will determine our outcomes. Believe it will and it will.<\/p>\n It doesn\u2019t necessarily have to. While we may not be able to totally change our energy and our outlook overnight, it certainly isn\u2019t something that takes years to make any significant headway.<\/p>\n I imagine it would depend on a variety of factors such as the type of therapy, the nature of the problem and whether the person is doing anything else to address their issues besides therapy.<\/p>\n Now I don\u2019t know all the details of Celia\u2019s situation, but it sounds like perhaps therapy may not be resonating right now or perhaps a different therapist would do the trick. That is something she can explore if she feels so inclined.<\/p>\n If you are interesting in exploring your spiritual nature, reality creation and all that jazz, and you are considering seeing a therapist, make sure they are someone who integrates these concepts into her practice, or you probably won\u2019t get the type of assistance and guidance that will be of most use to you.<\/p>\n So, here are some suggested exercises and what not that may help you consciously engage with your energy, and cultivate that warm fuzzy self-love that will lay the foundation for all sorts of great things showing up in your life, from relationships to more money.<\/p>\n These things are really simple and don\u2019t underestimate that–remember that we are naturally supposed to be sweet on ourselves, and being happy is not supposed to be something that is \u2018hard\u2019 or that we really have to \u2018earn.\u2019<\/p>\n Note that lots of this stuff is going to feel really uncomfortable to you because sadly, we are really lacking in the self-love department; we are much more comfortable pointing out our flaws and not liking ourselves.<\/p>\n All that shit is second-nature and seems to be the more socially acceptable approach. But like anything else in the realm of our mind and energy, it can be changed, and it doesn\u2019t have to be hard or take a long time.<\/p>\n Write down a list of things about yourself that you like. There is nothing too small and this is not the time to be modest. Read that list out loud at least twice a day. Right in the morning and evening before bed can be two particularly powerful times. For an even greater impact, do it in front of the mirror.<\/p>\n Write a letter to yourself about all the things you are mad about yourself for, whether it\u2019s your struggle with your weight or that you were really mean to your sister when you were little. Then think about what \u2018big\u2019 you would say about all these things, how \u2018big\u2019 you would regard your \u2018mistakes\u2019 and write a letter back to yourself from him or her.<\/p>\n Meditate or sit quietly and concentrate on cultivating a feeling of love for yourself. Just imagine what it would feel like if you loved yourself, if you were brimming with self-esteem. This energy is already within you, it is just hidden. So I assure you that you can conjure it up just a bit. Sit with that for a few minutes. Imagine it coming up through the floor, and traveling slowly through your body out the top of your head. Breathe that love in, breathe out the \u2018ick.\u2019<\/p>\n What did you think? Do you have issues of self-love? Did anything resonate with you in\u00a0particular? Any advice you would give or tools or exercises that work well for you? Looking forward to your comments as always.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Today I am answering some questions regarding the law of attraction and self-love asked by one of my awesome readers. Enjoy… My question has to do with self esteem or self love. I’ve recently made a lot of changes in my life after a very hard few years. I recently started learning all about LAO […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10490,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[40],"tags":[43],"class_list":["post-4483","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-law-of-attraction","tag-law-of-attraction-2"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4483","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4483"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4483\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10490"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4483"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4483"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4483"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nCelia<\/em><\/p>\n\u201cMotivation\u2019 May Not Be a Good Thing<\/h4>\n
It All Starts With a Decision to See Ourselves Differently<\/h4>\n
We Must Move Right Into Action<\/h4>\n
Some Thoughts on Therapy<\/h4>\n
Some Suggested Exercises<\/h4>\n
Your Turn<\/h4>\n