So, today I am going to talk some law of attraction and relationships, courtesy of some great questions from a reader…questions that hit on so many issues that strike fear in our hearts and trip us up constantly, leaving us convinced we are doomed in the love department.<\/p>\n
I have a question about love relationships, something that I am in struggling right now. I think I have done everything I could, from work on my spiritual side to dating online, I have many male friends too, so I don’t have a problem dealing with men.<\/em><\/p>\n Now I have a huge fear that the man that I want is just not exist, and I honestly still don’t know how to handle it even though I am still working on my energy in this particular thing too. I understand that if I want to get more money, I should be ready to give more money, and I have experience proof that it is working, although it’s still hard sometimes to do it.<\/em><\/p>\n But what about the love with a man? I feel lucky that I have a very good family and friends, and I don’t have any difficulty to spread the love for them or anyone around me, but my man is still not coming yet after years. And I feel it’s quite different, between the universal love and the love relationship with a man. I don’t know what should I do with this. I indeed a beautiful and attractive woman, but I just hardly find an available man that I want after so many years, and I get frustrated now.<\/em><\/p>\n When it comes to interest in harnessing the power of the law of attraction, finding a relationship seems to rank right up there with money. And like money, many of us find ourselves struggling mightily.<\/p>\n Not because finding love is an inherently more difficult thing to manifest, or because the Universe thinks we really have to ‘earn’ it and prove we are worthy of a proper mate. It is because we have a hell of a lot of baggage around it, and detachment seems damn near impossible, especially if you happen to be a lady whose biological clock is ticking so loudly, you can barely hear yourself think.<\/p>\n I would also throw in the fact that we have a lot of misunderstandings about how the law of attraction works, and we misinterpret manifestations big-time, which just throws us out of alignment even further.<\/p>\n Making peace with being single…I can’t stress this enough and it is the thing you will have the hardest time doing. I get it, believe me. I cried many times over my single status, unrequited loves and what not.<\/p>\n The first reason is a fear we have that somehow becoming happier now will cancel our ‘order’ with the good old U…after all, isn’t constantly expressing our disdain for our current situation the linchpin in manifesting something better? Our minds sure as hell seem to think so, but no, not it isn’t.<\/p>\n The second reason is the idea that being single is ‘wrong’, that it indicates some sort of dysfunction in us. We make finding a relationship the most important thing in life, and if we’re not in one, something is most certainly amiss.<\/p>\n And yes, we are social creatures and we didn’t come into this experience to go it solo, wandering around on our own for all our days, like a jaguar in the jungle.<\/p>\n So there is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship\u2014a good one can be a beautiful, fulfilling experience. But that still doesn’t change the fact that there is nothing wrong with not being in one.<\/p>\n If you are trying to create a relationship from a space where you are resisting and lamenting your single status, you’re in for a frustrating manifesting experience.<\/p>\n This doesn’t necessarily mean you won’t ever get a relationship\u2014you very well can, but it won’t be a good one, it will be one that will be mirroring back a whole bunch of crap to you that is likely blocking the great relationship that you actually want.<\/p>\n In making peace with being single, it will be easier for you to let go of the non-matches. You won’t latch onto every person who comes into your orbit as being the ‘one,’ simply because they meet some of your criteria or the sheer fact they may express some interest in you.<\/p>\n In making peace with being single, it will be easier to set some real<\/em><\/strong> standards, and stick to them. You will come to see that things like ‘nice’ and ‘being respectful’ are not desirable qualities but absolute bare minimums. These things go without saying…much like it is assumed you are looking to find a relationship with another Homo sapien and not a dog.<\/p>\n You have to remember that as someone who has made the decision to be a deliberate creator of their life experience, and not someone who just sits around, waiting to see what shows up, and hopefully liking it, you are looking for the top-shelf of experiences, not the watered-down crap.<\/p>\n You don’t want to create a relationship from a space of just wanting to end your lonely single days\u2014that is what most people do and that is why so many people are in crappy relationships, that is why so many people find themselves settling.<\/p>\n You are doing this work to let in a great relationship with someone who is perfect for you, someone with whom you can be authentic always, someone with whom you can grow together. You may not think such a great relationship exists, and that’s understandable because we may not see a lot of them, but they are out there.<\/p>\n I am in one of them so I know. My husband and I aren’t perfect people and like any other couple we have had our struggles and we fight sometimes, but I couldn’t imagine anyone more perfect for me.<\/p>\n Take advantage of your single status to really do this work on yourself and let in something awesome.<\/p>\n Give yourself a pat on the back that you are giving yourself permission to ‘go for the gold,’ and that you aren’t just going to let anyone in.<\/p>\n This was one of the statements in the question and I wanted to break it down a bit. She noted she has tried a lot from working on things from a spiritual perspective to online dating.<\/p>\n Like any other sort of manifestation, we never really have to do anything. When we try to create from action, without being energetically aligned with what we want, it tends not to go well. We may get some sort of result, but it’s not usually a great one.<\/p>\n She mentioned online dating. This could be a great way to meet people and I know a few personally who have found great relationships. But, for most of us, our desire to try this sort of approach, stems from playing the numbers game.<\/p>\n The more people we meet, the more likely we are to get someone. The more sales calls we make, the more likely we are to get an appointment. The more resumes we send out, the more likely we are to land a job interview, and hopefully some form of gainful employment.<\/p>\n This mode of creating tends to be really painful and frustrating, and smacks of us trying to control outcomes through action. If we just do enough, eventually something has to give.<\/p>\n Because we may not fully buy into the idea that we can meet someone by purely aligning our energy, without ever having to leave our house, and having this person show up at our front door\u2014the repairman, the guy whose car broke down and wants to use your phone,etc..–exploring as many channels as possible can be good for us energetically.<\/p>\n The key however is being detached from these channels. Feel free to give online dating a whirl; let your friends set you up on blind dates; go to events where you think you’ll meet like-minded people.<\/p>\n But don’t get attached to them as being the only ways it will be possible to meet someone. Don’t force yourself to do things you don’t want to do because you think you have to or you won’t meet someone.<\/p>\n As far as the spiritual work goes, we also have a tendency to believe that if we do enough of it something will change, but if our inner world isn’t really changing, it doesn’t matter how much we affirm, visualize or do whatever other sort of personal growth tools and techniques we have in our arsenal.<\/p>\n They are just means to an end. We have to be honest with ourselves if how we have felt has really changed to any real degree. Have we made any real headway on releasing our fears and doubts? How much have we really shifted the beliefs that we think may be getting in the way?<\/p>\n This isn’t a time to reprimand ourselves and beat ourselves up for not being good manifestors, or for being ‘human’ and all that comes with that.<\/p>\n But we do have to check in and see where our progress is at. We have to see if we have been suppressing emotion in the name of being ‘positive.’<\/p>\n The question-asker clearly has some deep fears around not meeting someone and believing no one good is out there…I would highly recommend she allow herself to feel that if she hasn’t already.<\/p>\n That is the only way to truly process and release it. We can’t truly shift our ‘crap’ unless we first acknowledge it, like truly acknowledge it.<\/p>\n And this means allowing the emotions, not just acknowledging these issues with our mind, on an intellectual level.<\/p>\n In the question, awesome reader acknowledged the idea of giving out something to get it in return, and acknowledges the great relationships in her life already and how she knows that really feeling that love can bring more love into her life. But she notes a difference between that general love we may feel and romantic love.<\/p>\n Is there really a difference? In some ways, yeah, it is different and it is understandable we view it differently. First and foremost, there is the whole sex thing. Secondly, romantic relationships intertwine your life with someone else in a way that others don’t. A romantic partner is invested in your life and decisions in a way other people won’t be.<\/p>\n But when we look at things from an energetic perspective, there is no difference. It is all just love.<\/p>\n This means that if you are capable of feeling love for friends, family and humanity as a whole, you are a match to romantic love as well, you are sending out the right type of vibes.<\/p>\n If you have managed to create great relationships with friends, family, neighbors or co-workers, you are capable of creating a great romantic relationship. You are not defective in any way, you are not missing some vital sort of energy.<\/p>\n The issue is the blocks we have created by being so attached to this type of relationship manifesting for us, by making all sorts of distinctions and separations between romantic relationships and other sorts of relationships that make us believe they are more complicated and harder to come by, by drawing all these bullshit conclusions about ourselves based on how relationships, and interactions with others, in the\u00a0past have\u00a0played out.<\/p>\n Truly letting ourselves feel love for others is a great way to become a stronger match to romantic love so don’t hold back. It will bring you other immediate benefits as well. When you are around people you enjoy, really enjoy your time with them.<\/p>\n See what you appreciate about them, and make mental notes that you want those things in a partner. Start piecing together your ‘dream person.’<\/p>\n When other people make you feel good in some way, note the feeling\u2014that will indicate what you truly want in a relationship, which like any other manifestation, is to feel a certain way.<\/p>\n Well, I can’t give an exact blueprint as everyone’s path is different. But I can give some general pointers.<\/p>\n First and foremost, the perfect person may not just come to you straight away. You may encounter a number of people who are there to show you where your vibration is at, to help you further clarify what you want and don’t want in a partner and in a relationship.<\/p>\n Let these people do what they came here to do and let them gravitate out\u2014don’t get attached to every person who may come in as being ‘the one.’<\/p>\n They may be but they may not be, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean anything has gone wrong.<\/p>\n While you don’t want to over-analyze every encounter, do pay attention to how these people and your experience with them made you feel.<\/p>\n Be open to what your dream person has to be like\u2014while you do want to give some thought to what is important to you, realize that some of your criteria may not be such an accurate representation of what would truly make you happy or is necessary. After all, much of this list will be coming from the machinations of your mind, who doesn’t know best.<\/p>\n For example you may think this person has to share your same hobbies, political affiliation or religion, but you meet someone who doesn’t and you’ll find you’re totally okay with it, much to your surprise.<\/p>\n And let’s be honest, sometimes we can be a bit shallow and superficial when it comes to constructing this list…it’s all good but it can lead us astray.<\/p>\n Tune into your intuition to guide you…you’ll know when to take a pass and when to be open to something that may not at first glance seem like your thing.<\/p>\n Don’t be willing to put up with a bunch of stuff you know you don’t want because there may be some good stuff too. You don’t have to settle or compromise.<\/p>\n Take responsibility for your own happiness and don’t place it on other people. Let yourself feel whatever you feel if something doesn’t work out, but don’t always be letting outside circumstances dictate your emotions.<\/p>\n Going into an emotional tailspin after a bad date, or because the guy never called again, is not the required reaction.<\/p>\n Realize that relationships can come together easily…all the drama, while emotionally gratifying on some level, is not necessary, as much as we may have witnessed and been led to believe otherwise.<\/p>\n Again, you’re going for the gusto here, not just settling. You may not be a match to love of the most awesome degree right in this moment, but you’ll get there. Make peace with the process.<\/p>\n So, that’s that…hope you enjoyed it.<\/p>\n Are you struggling in the love department? Anything resonate in particular? Do you have any tips for doing energy work in this area of life? Looking forward to your comments as always.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" So, today I am going to talk some law of attraction and relationships, courtesy of some great questions from a reader…questions that hit on so many issues that strike fear in our hearts and trip us up constantly, leaving us convinced we are doomed in the love department. I have a question about love relationships, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10358,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[40],"tags":[43,44,67],"class_list":["post-4075","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-law-of-attraction","tag-law-of-attraction-2","tag-loa","tag-love"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4075","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4075"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4075\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10358"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4075"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4075"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4075"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}The Vital First Step No Matter What Your ‘Love’ Issue Is…<\/h4>\n
I Think I Have Done Everything I Could…<\/h4>\n
Is Romantic Love Different than Other Types of Love?<\/h4>\n
What to Expect as You Start Aligning<\/h4>\n
Your Turn…<\/h4>\n