{"id":2614,"date":"2015-04-06T05:13:32","date_gmt":"2015-04-06T09:13:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/blog\/?p=2614"},"modified":"2021-07-31T08:08:36","modified_gmt":"2021-07-31T08:08:36","slug":"going-after-what-you-want","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/going-after-what-you-want\/","title":{"rendered":"Screw It: Questioning Whether Going after What You Want is Worth It Anymore"},"content":{"rendered":"

You decided you wanted something, something that may have been a bit of a stretch, but you made the choice to go after it anyway.<\/span><\/p>\n

You were sick of not being true to yourself, and you started living more authentically, letting your ‘freak flag fly,’ if you will.<\/span><\/p>\n

You knew the road may be bumpy but infused with a healthy dose of optimism and enthusiasm, you made the leap.<\/span><\/p>\n

But, it turns out the road is a lot bumpier than you anticipated. Things may not be happening as quickly as you like. Certain changes have yet to materialize.<\/span><\/p>\n

The goals have not yet been reached. People in your life have yet to understand, support and let you be.<\/span><\/p>\n

You made these decisions to be happier, but that emotion still feels as elusive as it ever did, perhaps even more so than before.<\/span><\/p>\n

You may feel a bit disillusioned. You are probably criticizing and beating up on yourself big-time.<\/span><\/p>\n

You know you are doing the right thing, and that this is what you want, but you don’t know if you have it in you anymore to keep dealing with all the shit.<\/span><\/p>\n

These moments suck ass big-time, not going to mince words here or try to tell you that it isn’t so bad.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have been there, and when people tell me that I am so ‘lucky’ to live the life I do, I just kind of laugh inside because luck had nothing to do with it.<\/span><\/p>\n

I created this reality for myself,and it wasn’t easy. Not because doing this type of stuff is inherently hard..it can be easy, and many things did happen easily for me courtesy of consciously working with LOA.<\/span><\/p>\n

But, considering most of us have a whole host of ‘yuck’ in the form of limiting beliefs, fears, diminished self-image and all that other fun stuff, being our true selves, and living the life we really want to live, can pose a number of challenges.<\/span><\/p>\n

All that ‘yuck’ gums up the works, and it can feel really freaking hard sometimes.<\/span><\/p>\n

And when something feels hard, we inevitably will feel frustrated, pissed off and like we want to quit.<\/span><\/p>\n

When I actually started moving towards the life I wanted, and the person I wanted to be, I came across all sorts of crap.<\/span><\/p>\n

People didn’t understand me.<\/span><\/p>\n

I got criticized.<\/span><\/p>\n

Like pretty much every living, breathing person I wasn’t one million percent confident in my decisions, nor did I have absolute certainty what I wanted would come to me.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ryan and I experienced some hard times financially, and that definitely put a damper on things\u2014 as unconventional as we may be in many respects, even we aren’t free of relationship trouble cliches.<\/span><\/p>\n

There was a long stretch where he was not really bringing in any income at all, and I felt a lot of pressure. He was working so hard, and I supported him and believed in him. But, at times, the resentment was running high and the faith running low.<\/span><\/p>\n

That resolved itself eventually, and his star is shining brighter and brighter, and he is a force to be reckoned with in the blogging world.<\/span><\/p>\n

There were times I just felt really shitty, and was questioning everything. I was wondering if getting what I wanted was worth all of this, or if I should just set my sights on something else.<\/span><\/p>\n

But, to be honest, there never really was a point where I actually considered truly giving up. And I imagine that is the experience for most people.<\/span><\/p>\n

They are just feeling really beaten down by the process, and our mind just naturally goes there.<\/span><\/p>\n

I will say two things:<\/span><\/p>\n

First, yes, it is worth it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Second, it may not be pleasant all the time, but it also doesn’t have to be as painful as it tends to be for us.<\/span><\/p>\n

If This Shit Was Easy, Everyone Would Be Doing It<\/span><\/h2>\n

Like I mentioned before, going after what we really want, and being who we really want to be, is easy in theory. But, in practice, things look much different.<\/span><\/p>\n

We were ingrained with certain beliefs regarding what is possible in life, and what we ‘should’ want and what is ‘supposed to’ make us happy.<\/span><\/p>\n

We worry about standing out, and going against the grain, so we conform.<\/span><\/p>\n

We may have built our life around getting approval from our parents or other people around us.<\/span><\/p>\n

Our religion may have done quite the number on us.<\/span><\/p>\n

We carved out a life that met the societal definition of ‘success’ never thinking for a second if this was our own personal definition.<\/span><\/p>\n

We let other people define us, and took their opinions and assessments as truth.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, yeah, breaking free of all of that, and ‘following your heart’ is not something most of us can do with complete ease.<\/span><\/p>\n

We can’t just strip away the conditioning that was put in place over decades.<\/span><\/p>\n

All of a sudden seeing ourselves for the awesome, powerful creators we are, after years and years of believing we have very little power, is not likely to happen.<\/span><\/p>\n

It can be a challenge, and bring all sorts of stuff to the surface, which is why most people don’t even make the attempt, or give up at the first sensation of ‘ick,’ or as soon as someone questions or criticizes them.<\/span><\/p>\n

All of this you are going through now is just par for the course. If it was so easy to change, and actually be happy, everyone would do it.<\/span><\/p>\n

And as evidenced by the amount of bitching and moaning people do, it clearly isn’t easy, or why in the hell would people be living lives for which they have so much disdain?<\/span><\/p>\n

As unhappy as people may be, they are used to their situation and it is comfortable. They know what to expect.<\/span><\/p>\n

Deciding that is no longer acceptable, and actually stepping outside this comfort zone, is well….uncomfortable as hell. Sometimes it can feel so uncomfortable, you want to run back the first chance you get, no matter how much you disliked it there.<\/span><\/p>\n

And if we can accept this road to Awesome Town may not be all unicorns and rainbows\u2014never really got why they represent things that are easy and joyful, but that is just what people say in these situations\u2014you have no idea how much you can alleviate the suffering.<\/span><\/p>\n

That sense of suffering is borne of how we are viewing these challenges, not the actual challenge.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sure, you may not feel great at times. But, that acceptance that this is not always easy, that what you are experiencing is normal, can remove that extra-thick, suffocating layer of negative emotion.<\/span><\/p>\n

You are not weak, you are not doing anything ‘wrong.’ You are not failing.<\/span><\/p>\n

You have simply decided you will not settle for the status quo or anything less than what you deserve or capable of having.<\/span><\/p>\n

You have not relegated your deepest desires to the realm of fantasy like most people do.<\/span><\/p>\n

You have decided you will not pretend to be someone you are not.<\/span><\/p>\n

You have made your own definition of success and happiness, and will mold your life accordingly.<\/span><\/p>\n

This journey can be an uncomfortable one, but if you can get comfortable with being uncomfortable, nothing can deter you.<\/span><\/p>\n

Remember What You are Really After<\/span><\/h2>\n

For anyone who reads my posts about law of attraction<\/a>, one of the things I like to remind people of quite frequently is no matter what you want, you are after feelings. You just want to feel happy.<\/span><\/p>\n

The things you have set your sights on now are a translation of that energy; they represent those feelings to you.<\/span><\/p>\n

When we get hyper-focused on these specific goals and wants, we can lose sight of the big picture.<\/span><\/p>\n

We put all our effort into getting them, and when we don’t see these things materializing, it can feel really freaking frustrating.<\/span><\/p>\n

We sometimes create a very narrow definition of what we want, and what would make us happy. We believe certain things need to happen for us to feel like we have gotten what we wanted, and anything else would be deemed a ‘failure.’<\/span><\/p>\n

And these expectations can really derail our core purpose in doing all of this, which is to feel good, to feel like we are living authentically.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now, I am not trying to tell you that whatever it is you want is not actually what you want..well, okay I am kind of saying that.<\/span><\/p>\n

But, I would ask you to take a moment to think about what lies beyond the specific thing you have set your sights on.<\/span><\/p>\n

Why do you want those things? What benefit do you think you will get from obtaining them?<\/span><\/p>\n

Is this the only way you can possibly achieve this feeling? Is this thing what you truly want, or for some reason, have you decided that this is the only representation of that deeper want?<\/span><\/p>\n

How have you already succeeded in cultivating the life you want, embodying your deepest values and feeling the feelings you want?<\/span><\/p>\n

I assure you that you have done lots of things that are not being acknowledged because we tend to focus so much on what still isn’t here yet.<\/span><\/p>\n

Give Up for a Bit (But Not Really)<\/span><\/h2>\n

Our whole experience is a mirror of our internal world\u2014our thoughts, beliefs and feelings. That is what drives our decisions, our actions and what we attract into our experience.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, when we realize this, our actions really aren’t the core of getting the things we want. We take those actions based on inspiration\u2014sometimes that inspiration is good, and sometimes not so good.<\/span><\/p>\n

We often act from the sense that we must suffer to get what we want, that we have to work really hard, that certain things must be done or we can’t have it.<\/span><\/p>\n

We are led to believe success can only come after great sacrifice and that is what makes us worthy of receiving what we want, of getting the things that make us happy.<\/span><\/p>\n

We feel the need to control every aspect of the experience, and we try to force and manipulate.<\/span><\/p>\n

We push and toil, all the while feeling like crap.<\/span><\/p>\n

We still don’t have what we want, and we decide we must do more. We have to keep at it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sure, we will take actions. Sometimes those actions might not feel 100 percent great\u2014we are prone to fear, doubt and other types of discomfort.<\/span><\/p>\n

But, by and large, we should feel good in pursuing our goals. The path to feeling good and getting what we want is not supposed to feel badly and require us to do a bunch of stuff we don’t want to do. <\/b><\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

Being miserable is not the way to happiness..sounds obvious, but the idea of suffering to get what we want has been pretty deeply ingrained and we don’t trust anything that seems too ‘easy.’<\/span><\/p>\n

The journey is all that matters because no matter what you want, it is only just the next step. You will always want to create, there will always be more things you will want to bring into your experience.<\/span><\/p>\n

This really drives the point home that you want the process of getting what you want to feel good, because the process is something that will be repeated over and over again.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, if your journey has not exactly been joyful, it is a good idea to step back and evaluate what is going on.<\/span><\/p>\n

If the idea of pulling back for a bit gives you a sense of relief, follow that intuitive nudge.<\/span><\/p>\n

This doesn’t mean you are giving up. This doesn’t mean you are stalling progress. Remember everything is a mirror, and getting things right internally, will help bring you what you want much faster, and with less effort.<\/span><\/p>\n

There may be a fear if you stop taking action, you will just give up on everything all together, and stay where you are, but that isn’t likely to happen.<\/span><\/p>\n

The Universe knows what you want. And just to remind you again…the one thing in your brain now may not be the ultimate representation of your desire, but just what you have access to right now.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, if you are feeling like shit, and acting from a space of fear and force, and are lacking trust and the passion or enthusiasm you may have once had, stepping back is the best thing you can do.<\/span><\/p>\n

Your brain will fight you on this, and you’ll worry you may not come back from this hiatus.<\/span><\/p>\n

But, this pulling back will help clear your mind. The relief of feeling like you don’t have to push and make things happen will get some energy flowing in a good direction.<\/span><\/p>\n

You’ll open yourself up to inspirations and ideas that were not available in that lower energetic state.<\/span><\/p>\n

You’ll likely attract all sorts of situations that support getting whatever it is you want, and that will get you a nice infusion of motivation and hope.<\/span><\/p>\n

You’ll make some great realizations about what you truly want, and whether you need to resume with your current path or make some tweaks.<\/span><\/p>\n

In Closing…<\/span><\/h2>\n

Where you are now is not a fun place to be, but it is one that is familiar to most people who have managed to create their own personal version of awesome. Again, things don’t have to be this hard, but all our ‘stuff’ will complicate the path, and it is what it is.<\/span><\/p>\n

These challenging times are actually tremendous opportunities for growth, release and clarity. All of this shit coming up actually means we are moving forward.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you are willing to take an honest look at what has been happening, you can see where things may have gotten off track energetically speaking, allowing you to regroup and move forward more effectively.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you know what type of life you want, and the person you want to be, then you can never go wrong by pursuing the path that will bring it all to fruition.<\/span><\/p>\n

Don’t always be so focused on the end results..enjoy the journey more. Don’t forget to tune into all that you have accomplished so far…it is probably a lot more than you are giving yourself credit for.<\/span><\/p>\n

Think about what you can do to feel better…anything that gets you in a better head space is a worthy use of your time.<\/span><\/p>\n

Examine the beliefs and feelings that are cropping up during these difficult times..they will clue you in big time as far as why you may be experiencing what you are now.<\/span><\/p>\n

Make sure you are taking responsibility for your experience fully…I don’t mean blaming yourself, just so we are clear.<\/span><\/p>\n

Go back to your ‘why’ so you can remember the reason you started down this path in the first place.<\/span><\/p>\n

This too shall pass, and you’ll come out of the other side mentally and emotionally stronger.<\/span><\/p>\n

Let yourself express your feelings\u2014don’t suppress them because you think you ‘shouldn’t’ feel a certain way or you should ‘know better.’<\/span><\/p>\n

Have your pity party. It’s okay. We all go there sometimes.<\/span><\/p>\n

Remember you are always moving towards what you want, and anything that pops up along the way, is there to help get you there, even if it doesn’t seem like it.<\/span><\/p>\n

But, we have to be willing to see the little wisdom nuggets in these less than pleasant experiences.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you are willing to do that, you’re golden.<\/span><\/p>\n

Your Turn…<\/span><\/h2>\n

What did you think of this post? Are you in the midst of questioning whether it’s worth it? What are you striving towards and what do you think is standing in the way? Do you have any tips for getting through this rough patch? Looking forward to you sharing your great insights and experiences as always!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You decided you wanted something, something that may have been a bit of a stretch, but you made the choice to go after it anyway. You were sick of not being true to yourself, and you started living more authentically, letting your ‘freak flag fly,’ if you will. You knew the road may be bumpy […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10445,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22,8],"tags":[12,13,30,6,31],"class_list":["post-2614","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-happiness","category-living-your-dream","tag-adversity","tag-challenges","tag-clarity","tag-happiness-2","tag-hard-times"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2614","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2614"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2614\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10445"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2614"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2614"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2614"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}