{"id":2370,"date":"2015-01-23T09:19:19","date_gmt":"2015-01-23T14:19:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/blog\/?p=2370"},"modified":"2021-07-31T11:09:07","modified_gmt":"2021-07-31T11:09:07","slug":"hating-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/hating-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Pulling Yourself Out of the Pit: How to Deal When You Are Hating Life"},"content":{"rendered":"

Are you currently in a space where you basically hate everything about your life? Nothing seems to be going right and you just want to throw in the towel on existing? Do you have a nasty stew of emotion brewing beneath the surface at all times\u2014that lovely mix of anger, depression, anxiety, fear, resentment, and despair that comes with thinking that things are never going to change, and this is it? Are you engaging in all sorts of self-sabotage and self-destructive behavior?<\/span><\/p>\n

This isn’t a pretty place to be, and it isn’t a place you have to stay. There is always<\/b><\/i> a way out. There is always<\/b><\/i> a solution. We weren’t put on this earth to be miserable. We were put here to be happy, and create everything we want. Yeah, there are challenges and sometimes things don’t go right. We each came to explore certain themes and learn certain lessons that may not always be so pleasant to our human minds . But, the overall gist is happiness.<\/span><\/p>\n

Before you dive into the meat of the post, wanted to remind everyone of the free call I will be doing about law of attraction and money on Monday the 26 from 8 to 9 pm EST..you can find out more about it here<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Fully Admit You Hate Everything and Why You Hate It<\/span><\/h2>\n

Sure, you think everything sucks now, and you are fully aware you aren’t feeling so hot. You just want to punch the world, and you have no trouble admitting that. But, if you are like many people, you may not have fully acknowledged why you are so unhappy or the full extent of it.<\/span><\/p>\n

In an effort to protect ourselves, and minimize our pain, we get really good at denying the true depth of our feelings, or examining too deeply why we are unhappy with our life. We do this for a lot of reasons, but one of the main ones is because of the mistaken belief that we really can’t do much to change, so best to suppress, rationalize and flat out lie to ourselves about how we feel, to convince ourselves we didn’t make the wrong choices, etc…We fear what may come up if we finally open up the floodgates.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you really want to get out of this pit and start moving towards a happier, lighter place, you have to take this step. You really can’t make true, lasting change if you are not willing to be brutally honest with how you are feeling now, and what isn’t working for you. It is only from this space you can devise effective solutions, figure out what would truly make you happy, and move forward with a solid plan of action.<\/span><\/p>\n

Are you having a hard time admitting how much you hate your job because you spent tens of thousands of dollars educating yourself for this very field? Is being a mom a lot freaking harder than you ever imagined, and you feel your identity disintegrating further and further, but you hold it all in because of shame and guilt over these feelings?Have you and your boyfriend been growing apart more each day, but the idea of breaking up terrifies you because you are convinced you will never find anyone else?<\/span><\/p>\n

Let yourself really feel your feelings. Cry, scream, punch a pillow, whatever. Don’t suppress it anymore. This can be pretty intense and you might scare yourself a bit, but just let it rip. No one else has to know about it, it’s just you.<\/span><\/p>\n

The moment you do this can be really uncomfortable because you are really just letting things loose. When we stop lying to ourselves, admit our fears and regrets, and all that good stuff, a lot may come up. But, the good news is, this is the worst of it.<\/span><\/p>\n

You have brought up the gunk, and now you can begin clearing it out. You will be amazed at how much better you feel, even though everything in your life is still the same in that very moment. The resistance will be lowered, and from this space, you can really start making changes.<\/span><\/p>\n

Think about What You Want without Censoring or Judging<\/span><\/h2>\n

Now comes step two..this is part can be really fun. You are going to actually think about what you want…seems simple enough but something a lot of us really don’t do all that much. We sure think a lot about what we don’t want, and while that offers some clues to what we do, this really doesn’t cut it as far as making real change in our lives and bringing these things into our experience. Energetically speaking, focusing on what we don’t want vs. what we do is worlds apart.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you are like many people, you probably don’t think you can have most of the things you want for a variety of reasons. Silly rabbit. We can always have what we want. But to get the ball rolling, we first have to figure out exactly what that is, and believe it is possible for us, even if we can’t figure out at this very moment how it would all come together.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, I want you to get out a piece of paper and a pen\u2014don’t do this on your phone, computer or some other electronic device. There is great power in actually writing things down, so we are going to get a bit old school for a minute.<\/span><\/p>\n

Take a moment to sit quietly and calm your mind. Think about what you would like your life to be like\u2014like, if you could take a magic wand and just create it. That is the type of stuff I am talking about. I am not talking about creating a list based on what you think is ‘realistic’ or possible based on where you are currently.<\/span><\/p>\n

Write down whatever comes to mind without censoring it, judging it or modifying it to make it more ‘feasible.’ If it pops in your mind, just write it down. Doesn’t matter how silly it seems, how small or how whatever..just get it down because it has significance for you.<\/span><\/p>\n

There is a good chance a lot of stuff on this list seems like a stretch, or damn near impossible given your current state of affairs, and mindset. But, none of it is impossible. This exercise may seem like nothing more than writing stuff down on a piece of paper, but it is so much more powerful than that.<\/span><\/p>\n

You have just placed an order with the Universe, a force that can arrange for our desires to be delivered to us in infinite ways, ways that our puny little brains cannot possibly conceive of. This exercise gave you clarity and something on which to focus your mind. By deliberately thinking about what you want, you have given yourself permission to actually go after it, and create it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Many years ago, I did this same exercise. I was reading a book called the Passion Test<\/a>, and it instructed you to write down a list of things you want ,narrow it down to the five things you wanted most, and write it out on an index card.<\/span><\/p>\n

Below is a picture of this card, dated May 28,2009. It is important you know I wrote out this list when my life was rife with problems. I was barely making any money, had huge amounts of debt, experiencing boatloads of anxiety, feeling depressed, and grieving my father’s death. I was pretty miserable. Ryan was my only saving grace, and I am forever grateful for him to all the support he has given me in my darker times.When I wrote this list, there was nothing<\/b><\/i> to suggest any of what I wanted was remotely possible, based on outside appearances.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\"IMG_0066\"<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0But, what is happening now means squat in terms of what is possible moving forward. Everything happening now is a culmination of the beliefs, and image of yourself you are currently holding, and that can be changed. Once you start changing your inner world, your outer world has no choice but to change. You are in control..nothing outside of you can determine your fate or keep what you want from you. That will only be true if you believe that, and most people do unfortunately.<\/span><\/p>\n

Everything on that list has come to pass. I am traveling the world whenever I want, for as long as I want. Because of the nature of my work, I have plenty of free time to do the things I care about, and to just relax and do nothing when I so choose. And boy, do I love doing nothing sometimes. I love getting massages and pampering my body more than life itself–and considering I have spent most of the last 3.5 years in places where a massage will run me ten bucks or less, I have indulged quite a bit. I have done 10 day meditation retreats and all sorts of other things to get in touch with the ‘big’ me, and live a more authentic life. My blog is inspiring people, and I have recently started coaching<\/a>\u00a0,\u00a0there you have number five.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0How to Get Things Moving….<\/span><\/h2>\n

So, now that you have completed that first step of assessing the situation and the second of actually thinking about what you want, you are ready to get things moving. Awesome. But, then you start thinking of all the things you want to be different, and that can feel a bit overwhelming.<\/span><\/p>\n

You worry it will take a long time, or it will be really hard. That bit of enthusiasm that may have been triggered may start to wane a bit. But, don’t lose hope. No, you won’t be able to transform every aspect of your life overnight. It might not be feasible to just quit your job tomorrow; the issues you and your spouse have been having for years won’t be solved with a quick chat. After years of self-loathing and feeling unworthy of love, you might not meet your soul mate by the weekend.<\/span><\/p>\n

But you don’t have to fix everything completely to start feeling better. Even small changes now can make a world of difference. Just focusing your efforts in one area now can do wonders for all aspects of your life. As you start to feel better overall, your experience will start to change .<\/span><\/p>\n

At our core, we are just energy you see, and that energy determines what we attract. The more positive that energy, the more positive experiences we will attract in all areas of our life. When you start feeling better, you will be able to let in all sorts of ideas, inspirations and solutions that were previously unavailable to you in your lower energetic state. Lots of good things will start happening for you, often without any direct action on your part.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, what could you start doing immediately to feel better? What can you eliminate from your life right now that is dragging you down? What steps can you take in this moment that will make you feel like you are moving towards what you want?<\/span><\/p>\n

I know that once you admit where you are now, your current situation can seem almost intolerable. You are sick of this shit and you want it done with already. But, it might take a bit of time for things to come together. If you can exercise a bit of patience, and release the ‘all or nothing’ mentality, you will find great relief in these smaller shifts. Anything that can make you feel better is valuable in that it will raise your energy, and from a higher energetic space, your perspective will start to change. And once that changes, you are golden.<\/span><\/p>\n

You have to be willing to take full responsibility for your life, and what you have created so far. It is really easy to blame other people, the government, society or whatever, for our problems, and really easy to formulate a perspective where this appears to be true. This is the perspective most people hold.<\/span><\/p>\n

But, no matter what happens, we always have a choice on how to respond. We always have the ability to claim our full power and decide no one but us will steer the ship. This can be challenging for sure, and we may not always feel so powerful, but the more you step into it, the easier it gets. You will want to step into it more fully because a belief we are in complete control is a hell of a lot better than one that says we aren’t and that we are the mercy of outside forces.<\/span><\/p>\n

Be Patient and Compassionate with Yourself<\/span><\/h2>\n

If you have been living a certain way, believing really crappy things about what life is supposed to be like, and carrying around a really distorted self-image for a long time, you are not just going to shed that all immediately. In theory, that is possible, but that would be an enormous shift that most of us probably couldn’t sustain for any long period of time.<\/span><\/p>\n

You may not drop all your bad habits overnight. You may be half-hearted with your self-improvement efforts. You may still have your pity parties. Taking full responsibility for your life can be challenging since we are so conditioned to blame things outside of ourselves, and you’ll have your moments where you do just that.<\/span><\/p>\n

It can take some time to really start to love ourselves, and believe on the deepest levels we deserve good things and to be happy. Some of the changes you know you need to make may not come so easy and you will put them off–this will stand in the way of your progress most likely, but it is what it is. There will come a point where you will feel ready to make these harder choices.<\/span><\/p>\n

Like I said earlier, you can start feeling a lot better about yourself and your life even if all the things you want can’t flood into your experience the second you decide you want them. No matter what you want, you are after a feeling, and you can start cultivating those feelings now. What feelings lie behind what you want? What can you do now to create those same feelings? Remembering this can go a long way in soothing the discomfort that comes along with carving out a drastically different path for yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n

In Closing…<\/span><\/h2>\n

Being in a place where the pain, frustration and all that other yuck has reached a boiling point can be unpleasant. But, you are actually being presented with a tremendous gift because it is at this point where real, lasting, life-altering change often takes place.<\/span><\/p>\n

Like they say..when you hit rock-bottom, there is nowhere to go but up. While we can change at any point in our lives, the usual catalyst is the pain of the moment is becoming greater than any pain you may have associated with changing. You are being presented with an opportunity to rebuild your life from the ground up. All that negative emotion at such an intensity presents the chance to really dig deep and purge a lot of crap that might have gone untouched otherwise, left to fester and build.<\/span><\/p>\n

Things can be good. They can get better. You just have to decide this is so.<\/span><\/p>\n

Your Turn…<\/span><\/h2>\n

What did you think of this post? Anything resonate with you in particular? Would you add anything or give additional tips on how to deal with these types of moments? Are you really hating anything in life right now, and what are you doing to change it? Looking forward to your comments!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Are you currently in a space where you basically hate everything about your life? Nothing seems to be going right and you just want to throw in the towel on existing? Do you have a nasty stew of emotion brewing beneath the surface at all times\u2014that lovely mix of anger, depression, anxiety, fear, resentment, and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10573,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22,8,10],"tags":[4,30,90,6,11],"class_list":["post-2370","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-happiness","category-living-your-dream","category-making-positive-changes","tag-change","tag-clarity","tag-feelings","tag-happiness-2","tag-positive-change"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2370","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2370"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2370\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10573"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2370"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2370"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2370"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}