{"id":1500,"date":"2014-12-08T05:02:38","date_gmt":"2014-12-08T10:02:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/blog\/?p=1500"},"modified":"2021-08-02T06:43:37","modified_gmt":"2021-08-02T06:43:37","slug":"work-through-the-pain","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/work-through-the-pain\/","title":{"rendered":"Getting to a Happy Place: How to Work Your Way Through the Pain"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Whether you are working on raising your energy in your work with law of attraction, or simply are feeling weighed down by the pain you have experienced in your life, this post is for you.<\/span><\/p>\n

In theory, we can totally release the past, let go of the negative energy dragging us down, cultivate a healthier, happier view on life, release the limiting beliefs we have about ourselves, and develop a much more flattering self-image very, very quickly. We totally have that type of power. Ultimately, all of it is just energy, and energy can be shifted pretty easily and rapidly.<\/span><\/p>\n

But, in reality, it might take a bit more than that. There is a lot of momentum behind our negative feelings, and we have spent years and years feeling a certain way, maintaining a particular view of ourselves, and believing really, really shitty beliefs. Our mind will want to take us back to the ‘scene of the crime’ where it all started, analyze and what have you.<\/span><\/p>\n

While my interest in shifting all this ‘yuck’ stemmed from the universal desire to simply be happy, my study of the law of attraction \u2013 which, for anyone who may not know, I have blogged about frequently<\/a>\u2014really kicked things up a notch.<\/span><\/p>\n

We attract based on what we feel and believe, and contrary to what many people think, attracting all the good stuff is not just about deciding you want a particular thing ,thinking happy thoughts, and ignoring any negative feelings\u2014you actually have to start feeling better, and this often involves making peace with feeling like crap, staring it down and weakening it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Between having suffered bouts of depression, and being a very reflective, introspective and sensitive person, I have experienced all sorts of pain quite intensely, and for a long time, I felt it was my lot in life to kind of suffer with it. But, then I realized that this was a pretty disempowering belief that didn’t feel too great, and I simply decided to believe something else.<\/span><\/p>\n

Well I’m sure glad I did, because things are a hell of a lot better now. Have I slayed all my demons? No. Am I happy every second? Um…I wish. But, that’s the great thing about it all…being happy doesn’t mean feeling that way all the time, or totally getting over what may have happened to us in the past.<\/span><\/p>\n

There is Great Power in Admitting How We Feel and Acknowledging There May be another Way<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

This may sound a bit obvious, but the first step in really working our way through our pain is admitting how we feel, fully and without any sort of censoring. Everyone kind of knows how they feel now to varying degrees, but in an effort to protect ourselves from feeling too much, we get really, really good at denying the full extent of how much certain things bother us, or how we are really feeling.<\/span><\/p>\n

It is all surely there, and we are aware of it, but we have all sorts of coping mechanisms so that we are never putting our full attention on our feelings, or fully stepping into the pain. Our good old brains are just trying to help us, bless their hearts. And while this has certainly served us well in many ways over the years, there comes a point where we would be better served by embracing it all so we can truly release it.<\/span><\/p>\n

There is great power in admitting how we feel because this simple act alone is enough to start transforming what we don’t like…a lot of energy shifts when we are no longer in denial. It is like something bursting out of a box…it is no longer confined, stifled and hidden. It is out in the open, where it is free to move about and transform.<\/span><\/p>\n

On one hand this can feel quite intense and unpleasant, but on the other, you will experience a sense of lightness and freedom that comes when we stop lying to ourselves. We can’t really change something if we can’t even admit there is a problem in the first place. Now that we have admitted it, we have made some space for those solutions to come to us.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you are feeling a bit stuck in your life, and can’t see now how things could possibly improve for you, there is also great power in simply acknowledging that there is another way, some sort of solution, out there that will perfectly address your needs. You may have no freaking idea what that looks like right now, you may not be able to visualize for even a second how you can move from what your life is like now to something better, but that’s okay. At this point, that is not your concern…the only thing you want to focus on is creating a feeling of relief and instilling some hope that something better is on the horizon.<\/span><\/p>\n

You see…the idea of attraction is not just about getting money, relationships, better jobs and other ‘stuff,’ it is also about attracting ideas, inspirations and solutions to problems. When we can acknowledge there is some way for things to get better for us, even if we don’t exactly what that would entail, we start to feel better, and when we feel better, we create space for the ‘information’ that matches this more positive energy.<\/span><\/p>\n

Look to See How Your Experience Up until Now May Have Served You<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

This one can be tough because us humans naturally have a strong preference for all the awesomeness, and would happily avoid even the most minor inconveniences if given the opportunity. But, that just isn’t how life works is it? We get to experience all sorts of crap that can really put a damper on this little journey of life. There is a lot of bitterness about the things we have experienced because of all the pain wrought and the poor choices we may have made as a result, whether it be using drugs, being in an abusive relationship or just never making a real effort to build a good life. We may feel cheated, and life is unfair.<\/span><\/p>\n

But, no matter what has happened to us, and how much pain it has caused, it has the potential to change our lives for the better, and help us become a better person in some way. This is the kind of thing we know…we have seen the countless stories of people going through all sorts of horrible things, and then going on to do the most amazing things, developing this profound wisdom and what have you. But, when it comes to our own experience, this truth can easily be lost\u2014there is just too much ‘stuff’ blocking it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Many people who do healing work, for example, often had really bad childhoods or experienced some sort of traumatic event. All those terrible things, and the healing they managed to create for themselves, showed them that even with all that darkness, it was possible to go into a place of light. And they felt motivated to help others make that journey, a journey they have been on themselves, a journey they know can have a happy ending. Had they not gone through all they did, they may have never set upon such a fulfilling path.<\/span><\/p>\n

If we are willing to look at the painful experiences in our life in this new light, and think for even just a minute, how it may have served us, how we can extract something positive from it, we can not only initiate some healing, we may feel inspired to take certain actions, actions that will benefit us in some way, such as making a positive life change, or pursuing a certain career. We won’t feel as much contempt for these experiences, we will see them as part of a larger journey that helped us get to where we are today.<\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe your really crappy childhood is what made you into the amazing parent you are today. Maybe your bouts of depression are what provided you amazing clarity about what it truly takes to be happy in life. Maybe all that teasing you experienced when you were younger has helped you become a more tolerant, non-judgmental person who treats everyone with respect, no matter how ‘different’ they may be.<\/span><\/p>\n

All That Matters is How You Feel Now<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

While we will sometimes have to go think about the specific events that led us to feel the way we feel now, it is not something that is absolutely necessary at all times. One of the reasons we have such a hard time moving on from all that has happened is the tendency to keep using our past experience to justify why we fee the way we feel now…we just keep on telling those stories to ourselves over and over again. And, the more we do that, the more it all just digs in deeper and deeper.<\/span><\/p>\n

However you feel is valid, and you don’t need to justify it…at this point, it is what it is, and you just want to work on shifting it. When we are willing to just stay in the present moment and work from there, we can change our energy and perspective quite quickly. Without always going back to why we feel this way, we can extract ourselves from the stories that have become such a huge part of our identity..stories that, even though they cause us so much pain, are quite familiar and comfortable.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, whether you are dealing with some limiting belief that was instilled during childhood, low self-esteem caused by getting teased or being in relationships with people who were abusive, or whatever else, be willing to let go of the story, and just focus on the ‘aftermath’ in the here and now. Raising that self-esteem or obliterating that limiting belief in the present moment does not require that unpleasant trip down memory lane, it really doesn’t.<\/span><\/p>\n

Like I said earlier, sometimes this reflection on the past will be beneficial, and you’ll know when this is the case, but it is not something you have to engage in as much as you may think now.<\/span><\/p>\n

In Closing…<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

It is easy to adopt a view that the bad things that have happened to us will forever taint our lives, and while we may always carry the pain and memories to some degree, these situations don’t have to be the defining aspects of our life. They are just part of the story, they don’t have to be THE story. While you may not be able to change overnight, the willingness to start living differently is very powerful in and of itself, and can create a big shift internally, and get the ball rolling quite nicely. Just always remember to be patient and compassionate with yourself on the journey.<\/span><\/p>\n

Admit to the pain and unhappiness, and let yourself feel it, it’s okay. Know it doesn’t have to rule you though, and you can find a way to lessen and make peace with it. Life can still be great, no matter what has happened to us…ultimately, it comes down to making a choice that this will be the case. Commit to that choice starting today.<\/span><\/p>\n

Your Turn…<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n

What did you think of the post? Did anything here resonate with you in particular? Are you currently working through any pain of your own, and how is it going? Do you have any tips to share from your own experience? Looking forward to your comments so we can have a nice chat.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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