{"id":1238,"date":"2014-10-13T06:17:47","date_gmt":"2014-10-13T10:17:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/blog\/?p=1238"},"modified":"2026-02-02T23:00:24","modified_gmt":"2026-02-02T23:00:24","slug":"people-problems-tips","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/people-problems-tips\/","title":{"rendered":"People Problems? Tips for Smoother Dealings with Your Fellow Humans Part 1"},"content":{"rendered":"

Except for people who devote their lives to enlightenment, and retire from a worldly existence to wander the mountainside or live in a cave, our fellow humans will be a major source of angst, stress and other negative emotions for the rest of us. When you have so many beings of various backgrounds, belief systems, and what have you, inhabiting the same space, you have a recipe for endless combinations of conflict and unpleasantness.<\/span><\/p>\n

We experience so much suffering at the hands of our fellow humans, whether it was inflicted intentionally or not. Often it is seemingly small things that rub us the wrong way, but given the frequency of these situations, it can add up to big-time problems. We carry a lot of \u2018stuff\u2019 internally that seeps out, and can be a major player as well.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

As someone who has made the pursuit of peace and happiness a top priority in life, this is a topic of great interest to me, and I wanted to share some insights that have helped me greatly.<\/span>\u00a0 So, here you go….<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0Don\u2019t Hold Others Responsible for How You Feel<\/span><\/h2>\n

This is one of the most profound, yet most challenging, ways to improve your interactions with your fellow humans. This is a lesson I\u2019m still learning all the time, and while I haven\u2019t mastered it, I have made enough of a dent where it has changed my life pretty dramatically. Being engaged to a very wise, spiritually advanced person who never hesitates to call me out on my shit has given me plenty of practice.<\/span><\/p>\n

Nothing<\/em><\/strong> will take away our power, and sap our emotional and mental energy, like holding other people responsible for how we feel. Because we are imperfect creatures lacking guru-like control over our minds and emotions, we do it all the time<\/em><\/strong>, and it\u2019s understandable.<\/span><\/p>\n

It is very easy to blame other people for how we feel. After all, they said or did something that we perceived as shitty in some way, and we had some sort of reaction. Had they not done or said this thing, we would be perfectly fine right now. So, by this logic, yes, it is their fault we are now feeling some sort of emotional yuck.<\/span><\/p>\n

But, this is not true. No matter what other people say and do, how we respond is all about us.<\/em><\/strong> Something is being activated within, whether it is a particular insecurity, the doubts we hold about our decisions and belief systems, or that part of us that knows there may be some truth to the criticism being thrown our way. And, when this happens, we do not like this, we do not like it one bit. Going within and examining what is happening is never fun, and it is so much easier to just blame the other person, for what we are experiencing.<\/span><\/p>\n

This can be a really uncomfortable exercise, but so worth it. Anything we can do that keeps the \u2018ball in our court\u2019 is a good use of our energy. Always leaving ourselves at the mercy of things outside of ourselves creates a victim mentality, which will negatively pervade every aspect of our experience.<\/span><\/p>\n

Set Some Standards and Boundaries AND Stick to Them<\/span><\/h2>\n

I can\u2019t remember who said it, but once I heard this little tidbit, it was like a lightbulb went off\u2014we teach other people how to treat us. Kind of like taking responsibility for our feelings, we have to take on the responsibility of making sure people are treating us the way we deserve to be treated. So many people suffer at the hands of others for the sheer fact they have never established any sort of standards or boundaries.<\/span><\/p>\n

One example that comes to mind is women lamenting they can\u2019t find a good guy, and one of the reasons is a complete lack<\/em><\/strong> of bare minimum standards. When talking about their ideal partner, they are naming qualities, such as respect and kindness, as if they are something to strive for and \u2018would be nice.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

These traits should not be on the same level as a sense of humor or sharing your same hobbies and interests. These are qualities that are just a given, something you wouldn\u2019t think twice about. But they\u2019re often not regarded in this way, and because of this, women end up rationalizing, and making excuses for men, who they should have never let into their orbit in the first place.<\/span><\/p>\n

Set standards for the people who you will have relationships with, whether in the romance, friend or family department. Don\u2019t waste your time with people who bring you down, don\u2019t respect you or take advantage of you. I read a really great analogy on a blog once likening this process to the entry requirements set by a night club. Without those base criteria, the club would just be filled with crap and all the good people will go elsewhere.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

And, learn to set some boundaries too. Listen, you can\u2019t expect to change people so they act in a way that is more pleasing to you. But, what you can do is make it clear that in order to interact with you,<\/em><\/strong> they must adhere to certain guidelines during your encounters, and not to expect you to do certain things. You are not telling them they need to change, but simply that you won’t accept certain behaviors in your presence.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

So, if you are sick of your mother criticizing the man you married, and you have no plans on divorcing anytime soon, make it clear that the matter is no longer up for discussion. If your mother-in-law insists on dropping by unannounced, and you are sick of it, let her know she needs to call first, or she just may be turned away the next time she shows up on your doorstep. If your sister comes to you with every little problem, expecting you to solve it, you have to decide where your personal line is, and let her know she will have to handle certain things on her own.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now, this whole boundaries thing can be a challenge\u2014speaking up and letting people know what is bothering us, and what we really want, can be really uncomfortable because it is often a foreign concept for many of us. We just hold everything in, while our stress, and general mental and emotional turmoil, skyrocket. Decide today <\/em><\/strong>that you will change this. Even if you just start slowly and tackle one issue with one person, you are well on your way.<\/span><\/p>\n

Everything is a Mirror<\/span><\/h2>\n

I had to throw a little law of attraction into this because an openness to applying this principle in our dealings with people can dramatically change your world, and I couldn\u2019t leave out something that has such potential to help you. You see, everything in our life is a mirror to what is going on inside of us. We hold certain beliefs and have certain feelings. The predominant ones will set the stage for what comes into our life, including people, and the nature of our interactions with them.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, if you are having a lot of issues in your life with family, friends,etc., or seem to always draw in people that cause you problems in some way, it is because something within you is a match to them and the subsequent experiences.<\/span><\/p>\n

For example, if you have really low self-esteem and don\u2019t respect yourself, you will attract lots of people and situations that reflect this belief back to you such as people disrespecting you, saying hurtful things or making you feel less-than in some way.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, by working on your inner world, and shifting some negative beliefs and feelings, you can dramatically alter your outside world, including your dealings with other people. We tend to think of LOA in terms of \u2018getting stuff,\u2019 but it can be useful for so many other aspects of our lives.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you commit to this work, you will be amazed at the changes you see. Once you weaken negative beliefs and feelings that lead to negative interactions, you will experience less of them. You will bring more awesome people into your life, which reflect your higher energy beliefs.<\/span><\/p>\n

And as for the people already in your life who are causing you trouble in some way, know you can\u2019t create in their reality and cause any changes in them. But, with this work, you can line up with different \u2018versions,\u2019 leading many issues you may have had with them to clear up or at least drastically reduce, depending on how much you can shift the belief.<\/span><\/p>\n

As you know, most people have good and \u2018bad\u2019 aspects of their personality, have good days and bad days, good moods and bad moods. They are just not one way every waking moment.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, if you shifted a belief that all people in positions of authority are giant jerks, you would probably have more encounters with your boss when he is feeling a bit more benevolent, rather than when he is being a bit of a condescending d-bag. He\u2019ll still be that way sometimes, but if you have gotten rid of that belief, you won\u2019t have experiences that reflect that because it isn\u2019t there anymore.<\/span><\/p>\n

If there is a part of you that feels doubtful or lacks confidence in your chosen life, you probably line up with a lot of experiences where you find family members or other people criticizing you, which only fuels these uncomfortable feelings. If you worked on feeling more confident about your life path, you would catch these people in moments when they weren\u2019t in much of a criticizing and questioning mood, and when they are more understanding of what you are doing, or they wouldn\u2019t come into your orbit when they were in this mode, because again, you\u2019re no longer a match for these types of encounters.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now, it can take time to shift certain beliefs depending on how strong they are, but you don\u2019t have to aim for perfection here. As it gets weaker, the negative encounters will reduce along with it. When it comes to working with LOA in any capacity, don\u2019t set your sights on creating some perfect life devoid of any negative experience. I\u2019m sure that\u2019s possible, but not necessary.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, there you have part 1 on my musings to deal with people more effectively and in a way that maximizes our well being. I hope you enjoyed the post and had at least one ‘ah ha’ moment that you can carry with you into our own work<\/span>.<\/p>\n

Please let me know your thoughts in the comments. What are your main pain points with others? What strategies do you adopt to interact with your fellow man more successfully? What are you doing that you think you should be doing differently? What point resonated with you the most? Looking forward to your thoughts so we can have a nice chat.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Except for people who devote their lives to enlightenment, and retire from a worldly existence to wander the mountainside or live in a cave, our fellow humans will be a major source of angst, stress and other negative emotions for the rest of us. When you have so many beings of various backgrounds, belief systems, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":13002,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[16,52,38,81],"class_list":["post-1238","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-conflict","tag-conflict-2","tag-people","tag-responsibility","tag-vibration"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1238","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1238"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1238\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13003,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1238\/revisions\/13003"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13002"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1238"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1238"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1238"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}