{"id":12105,"date":"2023-07-27T06:17:20","date_gmt":"2023-07-27T06:17:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/?p=12105"},"modified":"2023-07-27T08:29:53","modified_gmt":"2023-07-27T08:29:53","slug":"how-to-go-about-manifestation-when-i-dont-know-what-i-want","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/how-to-go-about-manifestation-when-i-dont-know-what-i-want\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Go About ‘Manifestation’ When I Don’t Know What I Want?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hi Kelli<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Without something specific to focus I am not sure how to apply these sorts of teachings. I just know I’m unhappy with my life now and want things to be different, but not sure how. Thanks!<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Not Knowing May Actually Be Better for You<\/span><\/h4>\n

In some ways, I think not knowing what you want is actually more helpful<\/em> for getting it. Anyone who is even slightly versed in teachings about conscious creation, manifesting, the law of attraction and the like have probably heard all about the evils of \u2018attachment.\u2019 This vibe-killing tendency presents major barriers to receiving because it creates a \u2018problematic\u2019 emotional and mental state that makes it harder for things to change.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When we have set our sights on something very specific to \u2018manifest\u2019 it becomes very precious, and getting it becomes the most important thing we must do in our life. We focus very much on its absence, and all the icky feelings that lie at the root of\u00a0 the \u2018want\u2019 get stirred up more strongly, which just makes us want the thing more.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When we haven\u2019t identified very specific things we want, very specific goals we want to achieve, there is less of this icky energy to contend with. When we aren\u2019t distracted by external wants\u2013which may or may not be a good representation of what we actually<\/em> want\u2013we can focus on what really matters. <\/span><\/p>\n

All you want is to feel certain feelings, and every external want we set our sights on is for no other reason<\/em> than believing acquiring those things will give us the desired feelings.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So start there. The best question to ask yourself is not \u2018what do I want?\u2019 but \u2018how do I want to feel?\u2019 At some point, specific desires will probably start to take shape and that\u2019s fine. But if you get some clarity of the \u2018feelings front\u2019 first, that will put you in a better position to evaluate opportunities, make decisions, decide what actions to take, what jobs, people, experiences, best represent those feelings, etc\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

In figuring out how you want to feel, your current experience will likely serve as a helpful springboard. You may identify a lot of things you are feeling now that you don\u2019t want to feel, and you would just consider what that emotional \u2018opposite\u2019 would be. You will take note of things happening in your life right now you think are contributing to those bad feelings, and this will help you identify certain changes you want to make in your life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

General Vibe Management<\/span><\/h4>\n

If we think of terms like \u2018energy\u2019 and \u2018vibration\u2019 as simply fancy words for feelings\u2013something I have mentioned many times before\u2013then we will understand the tremendous value of what I like to call \u2018general vibe management.\u2019 If you make an effort to just feel better overall\u2013WHICH IS ALL YOU REALLY WANT<\/strong><\/em>\u2013 that shift in emotional state will have a positive impact on \u2018manifestation\u2019 even if you aren\u2019t \u2018trying\u2019 to manifest anything in particular. <\/span><\/p>\n

You get to start feeling better now without anything having to change first, without you having to figure anything out. And this more immediate shift in your well-being is actually what you were looking for anyway.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

General vibe management can take infinite forms since it really comes down to what resonates with a particular person. Certain actions may be more effective than others depending on what you are trying to achieve, what needs you have for that moment. There is no one behavior, one type of action, tool or technique that is better, works \u2018faster,\u2019 is more powerful,etc\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

Tools, techniques and the like have no power in and of themselves<\/em> to change our beliefs or our feelings. Our use of them is a manifestation of a decision, of an intention to change, to be different, to heal, to feel better. And the positive results we get are that intention coming to fruition<\/em>. So don\u2019t do things that don\u2019t feel emotionally resonant or you probably won\u2019t find them very helpful.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It is important to note that \u2018general vibe management\u2019 doesn\u2019t necessarily include manifesting-and-personal-growth-specific \u2018tools\u2019 like affirmations, gratitude lists, visualizing,etc\u2026 This can be anything<\/em> that makes you feel better\u2013exercising more, taking up a hobby, spending more time with friends.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

For many people, the latter sorts of activities may have a greater impact than the former. In fact, some people find focusing too much on all that stuff actually works against them for a number of reasons.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It is also important to remember that \u2018general vibe management\u2019 for most people is not just about doing things you aren\u2019t doing now, but not doing things you are doing now. In taking stock of your life, and how you are spending your time, you\u2019ll likely come across some habits and tendencies that would strongly undermine your emotional transformation efforts. I call these things \u2018energetic saboteurs.\u2019\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Changing some of these habits may be daunting, and you probably won\u2019t pivot right away. That\u2019s okay. There is usually a gap between the realizations we make and actually acting on them.\u00a0 But if you realize there are changes that would be beneficial for you, and you commit to trying,<\/em> you\u2019ll get there.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0Don\u2019t feel pressure to do a complete 180 overnight. You may need to start small and that\u2019s okay\u2013that incremental progress can be very motivating and keeps us moving forward. <\/span><\/p>\n

For example, you may not go from a full-blown social media addiction to checking it a few minutes a week. Your first step might be trying to not look at it as soon as you wake up, or installing an app on your phone that blocks it after a certain time of night, or doesn\u2019t allow you to access it for a set number of hours.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Again, at the end of the day all you want is to feel better<\/em><\/strong>, and I\u2019m sure this is a long-term goal of yours. So remember what you are trying to do here is foster lasting change, a new way of being overall.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0It is easy to forget our actual goal is to feel better; the egoic mind, in its pursuit of all the \u2018stuff\u2019 it wants, sees the emotional transformation as nothing more than a means to an end, not the end in itself. It reads about teachings like the law of attraction telling us feeling a certain way will get us everything we want, so it sees improving our emotional state as nothing more than some sort of tool to advance its agenda.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And when feeling better is not our actual goal, it becomes very hard to achieve it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And let\u2019s not forget one of the biggest benefits of \u2018general vibe management\u2019 is it makes you better equipped for the next piece of the puzzle\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dealing with Your Feelings<\/span><\/h4>\n

No piece of content of mine would be complete if I didn\u2019t mention the importance of dealing with your negative feelings. Wanting of any kind is always<\/em><\/strong> driven by the egoic mind, and its wanting is always<\/em><\/strong> driven by some negative emotional state. Pain-minimizing is the name of the game for this part of us.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And for the person who hasn\u2019t zeroed in on any specifics yet, committing to this more unpleasant part of the process will bode very well since at some point you may start to do so. You\u2019ll realize you want a new job, a relationship, significant changes in your lifestyle, specific experiences,etc\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

And if you have started working through some of the stuff that typically lies at the root of those wants\u2013feelings of lack, scarcity, not feeling good enough, feeling incomplete, hurt from past experiences,etc\u2026\u2013you may not operate as strongly from \u2018pain-minimizing mode\u2019 as people typically do. What may have been white-hot burning needs will more closely resemble ‘preferences,’ which can still be sticky, but not nearly as much.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When you start exploring your feelings more deeply, and the stories and beliefs causing them, you will realize one of the most liberating truths of all\u2013your external circumstances are not the cause. And with this understanding the outside world isn\u2019t the problem, comes the very powerful realization that changing it can\u2019t be the answer.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Actually buying into this on the deepest levels is a process of course! But even the smallest willingness to consider it is true can take us a long way emotionally.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

You may still want certain things, but it won’t feel as heavy and consuming. That aforementioned problematic feeling of \u2018attachment\u2019 won\u2019t be as strong.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And even when you have moments of that strong \u2018need,\u2019 of believing that the outside is the problem, the part of you that knows this isn\u2019t true grows more strongly in your awareness, so long as you are willing to let it grow.\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

And because of that stronger awareness, in instances when those errors in thinking are dominant, you don\u2019t feel wholly consumed by those thoughts. There is a part that isn\u2019t buying it, that knows it is false.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The important thing to remember about dealing with our negative feelings is that it is primary yet secondary. This obviously doesn\u2019t seem to make any sense so let me explain. Again, if terms like \u2018energy\u2019 and \u2018vibration\u2019 are simply fancy words for feelings, then our negative feelings are our biggest barrier to what we seek, making them our biggest \u2018concern.\u2019\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We feel badly because of all of our bad feelings\u2013all we want is for them to go away. The egoic mind tries to construct our whole life around minimizing them, avoiding them, keeping them dormant.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

This is a very different goal than trying to actually heal them mind you, and this takes us on a journey comprised of a lot more suffering than necessary. The funny thing about pain-minimizing mode is it actually creates more pain\u2026but I digress.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So if our negative feelings are our biggest problem, acknowledging them, feeling them, exploring the thinking creating them, is really the only thing we need to do to get everything we want, both in terms of our desired emotional state, and in our physical world of form. Dealing with them automatically creates a more positive frame of mind, and we don\u2019t need to try as hard to feel good. Feeling good is a natural byproduct of this \u2018work.\u2019\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So in this sense, our negative feelings are our primary concern. Yet this doesn\u2019t mean constantly digging around for them, constantly analyzing our emotional state, and the like. It simply means that if we have \u2018stuff\u2019 there, we commit to dealing with it because that will be the most helpful thing we can do for ourselves. We commit to no longer living in denial of our feelings, to no longer trying to constantly distract ourselves from them.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

On a day to day<\/em> basis, however, they are a secondary concern. In our day to day life, we should be focused on what we can do to enhance our emotional wellness, manage stress, bring more joy into our lives and cultivate greater peace.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s important not to become obsessed with rooting out \u2018negativity\u2019 lest the law of attraction won\u2019t \u2018work\u2019 for you. It is important not to feel pressure to be happy all the time. You don\u2019t want to fear your bad feelings and see them as some enemy getting in the way of your happiness\u2013they are actually very helpful messengers showing you the way to it if we are willing to engage with them.\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

A willingness to face and feel our negative feelings offers us what we want most pretty much immediately\u2013to feel better. Imagine being able to start experiencing the thing you want most in this world without anything in your life needing to change in even the slightest way first? <\/span><\/p>\n

The egoic thought system has thoroughly convinced you of the opposite your whole life. Imagine realizing it was wrong? <\/span><\/p>\n

Imagine what it would feel like to start untethering yourself from this most painful idea? <\/span><\/p>\n

Imagine how good it would feel to realize that giving up the belief that you need something outside of you to be happy is actually the easiest way to start changing the outside?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The egoic mind would find this \u2018ironic\u2019 but spirit mind is like\u2026um, yeah, of course it works that way. All that resistance is the biggest problem and that one shift in thinking starts chipping away at it significantly.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So don\u2019t be afraid to start looking within and be honest about what you find. Understand that this journey inside is the linchpin to all you seek, from greater clarity to help guide your decisions to emotional healing.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Have a question you think would make a good blog post? Submit it\u00a0here<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

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If there is any way I can be of assistance to you, feel free to email me at kellicooper1102@gmail.com. Would love to hear from you!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi Kelli Without something specific to focus I am not sure how to apply these sorts of teachings. I just know I’m unhappy with my life now and want things to be different, but not sure how. Thanks!   Not Knowing May Actually Be Better for You In some ways, I think not knowing what […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":12111,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[40],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12105","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-law-of-attraction"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12105","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12105"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12105\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12119,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12105\/revisions\/12119"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12111"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12105"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12105"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12105"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}