{"id":1195,"date":"2014-10-03T06:00:33","date_gmt":"2014-10-03T10:00:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/blog\/?p=1195"},"modified":"2021-08-02T05:51:36","modified_gmt":"2021-08-02T05:51:36","slug":"moving-towards-what-you-want-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/moving-towards-what-you-want-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Take This Life and Shove It: Moving Towards What You Truly Want Part 1"},"content":{"rendered":"

In theory, improving our lives should be easy. But, in practice, it is something people struggle with, sometimes greatly. We torture ourselves in various ways, from letting other people dictate our lives to engaging in all sorts of self-sabotage that keeps us stuck where we are. We do things we know are bad for us, but we just can\u2019t seem to help ourselves.<\/span><\/p>\n

Us humans are pretty messed up in the head when you think about it! Why we do this to ourselves is, on one on hand, kind of complicated. But, on the other hand, the answer is quite simple. We have all sorts of weird beliefs that led us to making certain choices and developing certain habits that perpetuate our discontent. There is so much \u2018crap\u2019 that is so deeply ingrained, it can feel impossible to change (but it\u2019s totally not of course.)<\/span><\/p>\n

We are moving through life on auto-pilot, and we don\u2019t even realize what we are doing most of the time. But, don\u2019t despair. You can change; things can get better. We just need to \u2018wake up\u2019 and get ourselves on a different track mentally.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, for your reading pleasure, here is part one of this little series on kicking our old lives to the curb and building shiny, happy new ones.<\/span><\/p>\n

Here is a little video for with some additional thoughts on the matter\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

What is Your Why?<\/span><\/h2>\n

With all the inner junk we have to work through, day-to-day responsibilities, good old laziness and other \u2018saboteurs\u2019, we need to find ways to keep on track with whatever changes we are hoping to make in our lives, regardless of their magnitude. We need to find a way to anchor ourselves to our desires, and keep on keeping on, no matter what obstacles pop up\u2014internal and external.<\/span><\/p>\n

The most powerful anchor will be your \u2018why.\u2019 Without getting crystal clear<\/em><\/strong> on why you want whatever it is you want, you\u2019re doomed. And, when I talk about your \u2018why\u2019 I mean the deepest desires and your core values. The surface stuff, like wanting to be happier or feel fulfilled won\u2019t make the grade. These are good starting points for investigation, but in and of themselves, are way too flimsy.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, if you really want to maximize your chances of success, you need to define your \u2018why.\u2019 Why do you want the things you want? Why do you want to become the person you are hoping to become? List out all the reasons, and then the reasons you want those things, and then those things. Once you feel you can\u2019t go anymore, you have hit your true \u2018why.\u2019 This last batch of reasons has revealed to you what you truly want in life and what you truly value.<\/span><\/p>\n

Figuring that out can change the way you move through the world completely. This deeper certainty about who you are, what you want and the values you hold dear can set you on a whole new course. Much of the confusion lifts; any fears and doubts quiet down as you gain more confidence. Making decisions becomes easier because you have a better sense of where you want to go, and what needs to be done to get there.<\/span><\/p>\n

Once I figured out why I wanted the things I wanted, nothing could stop me. I knew what I needed to do, and I did it. Figure out that \u2018why\u2019 and you\u2019re golden<\/span><\/p>\n

Make Sure You Are Moving Towards Something You Want and Not Just Away from the Crap<\/span><\/h2>\n

More often than not, dissatisfaction with our current lot in life, negative feelings and crappy situations serve as the primary catalysts for change. After all, when things are going okay and our lives are relatively comfortable, we don\u2019t quite have that same drive to change. We may not be thrilled with how things are, but our situation is not so painful we feel we must act.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, you don\u2019t like your life now and want it to be different. That is awesome you have come to this realization and are ready to shake things up in a good way. But, while it is perfectly fine to be driven to change by negative feelings and circumstances, if you really want things to get better in any meaningful and lasting way, make sure you are not just running away from something unwanted, but towards something wanted.<\/span><\/p>\n

Without some sort of positive goal in mind, it will be really hard to move on. Even if you don\u2019t like your life now, it is familiar and comfortable, and we tend to gravitate towards that, even when we don\u2019t like it. Without anything specific on which to set your sights and energy, you\u2019ll stay right where you are, no matter how much disdain you hold for your current situation.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, while thinking about what you don\u2019t like and don\u2019t want is a good starting off point, make sure you give some thought to what you do want and like. Figure out what specific changes you want to make. Don\u2019t worry about figuring out your whole life right in this instant\u2014it\u2019s okay if you are not sure exactly where you want to go. It is just important you have a sense you are moving towards something better.<\/span><\/p>\n

View Decisions in a Less Scary Light<\/span><\/h2>\n

Again, our love of comfort, the familiar and knowing what to expect can keep us stuck in situations that we don\u2019t like, no longer serve us and potentially do great harm to our well-being.<\/span><\/p>\n

We want to do things differently, and that involves making decisions. And this crucial aspect of improving our life doesn\u2019t always come easy, as evidenced by the boatloads of people who keep perpetuating their unhappiness by their inability to perform this act.<\/span><\/p>\n

We have a great fear of the future and the unknown. Our mind always goes to what might go wrong, and what we don\u2019t want to happen. Even if we feel strongly a certain decision would be beneficial, we can\u2019t bring ourselves to actually make it.<\/span><\/p>\n

First off, doubt and fear are natural\u2014I felt plenty of both as I went about crafting the life I made for myself. As I advance, and new desires come to light, these jerks surface right along with them. But, there have been some key realizations I have made that make the act of deciding much easier, and far less scarier.<\/span><\/p>\n

So long as we set strong intentions for the things we want, everything that happens to <\/em><\/strong>us is happening for <\/em><\/strong>us. Every decision we make will move us closer to what it is we want and who we really want to be. So, no matter what happens, it is always all good.<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

When you view making decisions in this light, you won\u2019t feel as fearful about it. No matter what results from a particular decision, there will always be some benefit for you. You\u2019ll feel more confident listening to your intuition, and you won\u2019t worry as much about moving forward even if you aren\u2019t 100 percent sure this is the right move, or how things will fall into place.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, if there is some decision you are currently weighing, and you have been holding off largely due to fear, act now.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you can adopt the view that we are always moving towards what we want, and all our choices help us reach that goal, whether they help us fine-tune our vision, reveal a block or limiting belief, or help us figure out what we do want by exposing us to something we realize we don\u2019t, you\u2019ll make the very freeing realization there is no such thing as a wrong decision. <\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Take Things One Choice at a Time<\/span><\/h2>\n

When we look at where we are now, and where we would like to be, the distance in between can seem really, really far. We look at all our \u2018issues\u2019 that need to be fixed, all the changes that will be necessary, all the \u2018work\u2019 that will have to be done. Throw in our desire for immediate gratification, and getting maximum results with minimal effort, and the doubt and discouragement begin to surface in no time.<\/span><\/p>\n

When you are looking at the whole picture, or thinking ahead to years down the line, it can feel a bit overwhelming. And when we feel overwhelmed, we tend to retreat and do nothing. And before you have even really started, you have given up. That is why \u2018taking things one day at a time\u2019 is one of the primary mantras for people recovering from addiction or working through traumatic circumstances.<\/span><\/p>\n

I would like to narrow that down even further to taking things one choice at a time. Staying in the present moment is one of the best antidotes to keeping the mental yuck at bay that can derail our efforts at improvement.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, when it comes to making your desired changes, just take things one choice at a time. Each day you are faced with numerous choices on how to expend your energy and where to place your attention. Just do your best to zero in on each one, and focus on that moment.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, if you are trying to change your eating habits, work on making a healthier choice at each meal, don\u2019t think about the next six months of dieting that lay ahead of you.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you want to exercise more, and you are deciding between that and watching videos on YouTube after a long day, suck it up and take the walk. Don\u2019t think about all the times that lay ahead where you\u2019ll have to sacrifice your \u2018fun\u2019 time to make room for regular exercise.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you find yourself in a situation where you are being invited to an argument you really don\u2019t want to attend, tell yourself you\u2019ll just keep your mouth shut, and let the moment pass. Don\u2019t think about all your deep-rooted issues with this person, the whole history of your interactions and the work that needs to be done on the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now, will you always make the best choice each and every time? No, probably not, and that\u2019s okay. Deeply ingrained habits and ways of being will win out sometimes since they are still powerful; there is a lot of momentum behind them, and it is easier to keep doing what we have always done than something different. No one\u2019s perfect.<\/span><\/p>\n

But, when you break down your life into a series of individual choices, you\u2019ll find it much easier to do the \u2018better\u2019 thing. Your progress will be faster, and changing won\u2019t feel as overwhelming or hard. When you find yourself in a situation where you wish you would have chosen differently, you won’t feel as deflated because you know another opportunity is right around the corner to try again. You’ll have plenty of choices coming down the pike that will allow you to practice your decision-making.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

So, in your own journey of change, just do your best to focus on the situation that is immediately in front of you, and do your best to make the decisions that will move you towards what you want, and not further away from it.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0So, I hope that you enjoyed the post, and got at least a few nuggets of wisdom that will motivate you to start going after what it is you want, no matter how big or small. Stay tuned for part 2 on Monday.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

Please leave me a comment so we can have a nice chat. Was there any part of the post that really grabbed at you? What changes are you trying to make in your own life? What are you moving towards? What are you hoping to move away from? Where are you succeeding? Where are you struggling? Do you have any tips that you think would be helpful for people? Looking forward to hearing your thoughts.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In theory, improving our lives should be easy. But, in practice, it is something people struggle with, sometimes greatly. We torture ourselves in various ways, from letting other people dictate our lives to engaging in all sorts of self-sabotage that keeps us stuck where we are. We do things we know are bad for us, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,10],"tags":[4,35,30,14,5,6,9,32,11],"class_list":["post-1195","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-living-your-dream","category-making-positive-changes","tag-change","tag-choice","tag-clarity","tag-confidence","tag-following-your-dream","tag-happiness-2","tag-living-your-dream-2","tag-moving-on","tag-positive-change"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1195","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1195"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1195\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1195"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1195"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.livelifemadetoorder.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1195"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}