So, I’ve got a confession to make. The last two weeks have been really, really shitty for me. Triggers coming at me from all sides; being bitch-slapped by resistance in a way I haven’t experienced in a really long time.
If this gives you a sense of relief that even someone who seems to understand this whole attraction thing on a deep level still has her stuff, fabulous. I hope it really does make you feel better because you don’t have to be perfect to manifest all manner of awesomeness.
We all have resistance, and as we move up the vibrational ladder, stuff will probably have to come up to facilitate the transition. That I experience all of this is what makes me really good at helping others deal with their own unique blend of crap that is holding them back.
If you happen to be someone who may harbor a bit of jealousy about my globe-trotting lifestyle, and it makes you feel a bit better to know my days don’t solely consist of me being in a state of blissful happiness while I sip tropical drinks, bask in the schadenfreude. It’s okay, we are all guilty of getting a bit of an emotional boost courtesy of the misfortune of others at one time or another.
But, back to the topic at hand…
As some of you may know from reading my emails or in a recent post about feeling frustrated with LOA, I got into a pretty nasty motorbike accident right outside my house two weeks ago. Still not quite healed yet, though I am much better ,and the bruises and cuts are slowly but surely fading away.
I relayed how that accident was a big time trigger, and at the time, I thought that was the end of it, but as time went on, oh how wrong I was. The Universe was not quite done with me yet.
I won’t go into the details of the various triggers because honestly, none of them were really anything earth-shattering. But, the Universe is always on point in bringing us the perfect manifestations that have the perfect message just for us in that very moment.
There were just oh so many, and they really hit me where it hurt resistance wise. Each time something happened that didn’t go my way or wasn’t to my liking, I wasn’t even surprised.
I was frustrated as hell. I had several instances of depths -of -your- soul crying—I had a particularly satisfying session in the shower. Very dramatic and cathartic…I highly recommend it.
There were things coming out I didn’t even know I felt, like a deep fear that in the future,something really bad was going to happen to me to drastically alter my life. What…I don’t know. Just something.
Clearly one of my roles in this life is to develop myself and then share the insights I gain with others. Sometimes I find myself worrying about the possibility ‘big’ me may have set me up for some crazy shit that ‘little’ me will not like one bit in an effort to expand my wisdom.
Then there were the things I know I felt but always pushed down because even thinking these things filled me with all sorts of terrible feelings. One night I was crying to Ryan that I sometimes felt this deep fear of something happening to him, and how terrifying it felt, and how I am convinced I would never find anyone who would be as good for me, and I would end up all alone.
There were things I thought I had overcome, but clearly hadn’t, like feeling sad that my efforts at maintaining relationships with certain people seems to be very one-sided, and if I didn’t reach out, we would probably never speak.
As you can see, that is quite the mix of stuff, and that is only a few examples. So much of what I was feeling and thinking would even be hard to verbalize.
While I haven’t been loving it, the clearing I have done, and the realizations I have made have been powerful. I felt like crap a lot, but I saw the purpose of everything that was happening to me, and I didn’t resist it as much. I didn’t cry ‘why me,’ or chalk it up to bad luck.
When we are being triggered excessively, it can feel like a bit much to handle at times. After all, we got into this whole attraction thing to feel better, make our life easier, and reduce ‘unwanted’ manifestations and icky emotions.
But, it’s all par for the course, and what is happening now will actually help move things along even faster, if you are game.
Here are some of my insights gleaned from my own trigger fest over these last couple of weeks…
Don’t Shut Anything Down
When you are being poked at constantly, a lot of shit is going to come up. There will be a temptation to shut it down, for one of a million reasons, depending on what is rising to the surface.
It might be because you are afraid to admit you hold a certain fear, don’t want to feel the full depths of a particular feeling, don’t want to relive a certain memory, think the belief is stupid, feel you are not entitled to feel a certain way..the list could go on and on.
I can’t stress this enough..don’t shut anything down. Let it all out. Stop denying, lying, suppressing and all that other stuff. There is a reason you are in this situation.
All of this is happening to help you let go of these very things that are dragging you down energetically. You can’t really move past something until you acknowledge it, and the Universe is kind of forcing your hand here.
I know it can feel a bit overwhelming…I had like at least a dozen different things surface all at the same time, and there were many points where I felt like I wanted to jump out of my skin I was so uncomfortable.
But, I let it ride. You have to as well.
So, if you are feeling a deep fear about money even though you have a really great job, and 20 grand in savings, you have to admit it. Don’t shut it down because you have no ‘logical’ reason to feel worried about your finances.
If you are feeling resentful towards your mother for smothering you ,and being overprotective, when you were a child, let yourself go there. Don’t shut it down out of a sense of guilt for all the people who grew up with parents who completely neglected them, and it could have been so much worse for you.
If you are feeling a deep sense of dissatisfaction with your life, even though it looks great on paper—loving husband, cute kids, nice house, and all the other trappings, it is what it is. Don’t shut it down because you think you ‘should’ be happy as you are now, and what about all the starving children in Africa?
Whatever you feel is valid simply because you are feeling it. Remember the part of our mind that is calling the shots is not logical. Lots of the things coming up now may not make ‘sense’ to you..they don’t have to. You just have to let them come up, and take it from there.
You’re Being Presented with an Opportunity to Take Things to the Next Level
When we encounter these types of scenarios, where everything appears to be going wrong, and we feel awful, all of this turmoil is actually a sign that we are really moving rather quickly towards something even better.
But, as we all know, we can’t get all that gooey goodness until we become a match to it, and in order to do that, we usually have to clean house vibrationally.
These moments are very trying, but as they say, it is always darkest before the dawn. These strong feelings of frustration are usually a precursor to major breakthroughs.
You may not have some major manifestation the first day you start feeling better, but there will be a very perceptible shift in how you feel.
The limiting beliefs, and feelings that were standing in the way will become vastly clearer, and you will have profound insights on how to more easily shift them.
Your realizations will have you moving through the world differently.
You will start going about your manifesting in a much more effective way.
With certain energies being cleared significantly, or sometimes completely, you will have a whole different perspective.
Changes will be made-sometimes seemingly small ones, but they will make all the difference in the world.
You will stop doing things you know you shouldn’t be doing, or at least, do them much less.
You will start setting the boundaries that should have been set long ago.
You will start being who you really want to be, and not giving a shit what anyone else thinks about that.
You will be more deliberate in your actions, and find it easier to withdraw from ones you know are coming from a place of fear, force, and lack of trust.
You will just feel better, and as we all know, that is where the magic happens.
It is easy to think these moments mean you have been doing this whole manifesting thing ‘wrong.’ You think you ‘should’ be past all of this crap by now, and at a level where you have no resistance of any kind, and you just are in a total state of surrender and allowing.
And with these types of expectations, naturally a period where you are experiencing an avalanche of triggers, is going to feel like some sort of ‘failure.’
Nothing could be further from the truth. You haven’t done anything wrong. This is all part of the experience. The resistance is there, and it has to come up–that is all that is happening.
Do as Little as Possible
When you are feeling like the Universe is out to get you (which we know it isn’t riiight?), one of the best things you can do is a whole lot of nothing. I’m super-serious about this. I implore you to do as little as possible.
This is particularly true of anything related to whatever specific manifestations you are working on. Because in this space, I guarantee anything you do will just get in the way big-time.
When we are feeling like this, our actions are coming from a place of trying to control things, and that never works out well. Sure, our sheer force may get us some sort of tangible result.
But is that really how you want to go about getting your stuff? No, no it isn’t my loveys—that is why you are doing this whole LOA thing in the first place..to get things from a place of ease and joy.
One of the realizations I made over these last couple of weeks is that I spend too much time on the computer, and it makes me feel anxious.
I don’t even know what I’m doing on it half the time, but there I am, staring at the screen. I don’t know why it gives me anxiety, but it does.
And, over the last few days especially, I have barely touched it. That is why I didn’t publish a post on Friday. And that brought up some stuff..I really don’t stray from my three times a week posting schedule very often, and since I had recently missed a Friday post, it bothered me to miss another one so soon.
But, publishing that post was not necessary. No one was going to die if I didn’t, though if someone told me they felt that way, I would probably be a bit flattered.
So, I held fast to my internet fast, and I survived.
Spending less time online feels a lot better. If I don’t get to someone’s email until the next day, that’s totally reasonable. Were someone decide they didn’t want me to coach them, or whatever it is they contacted me about, because I didn’t get back to them within a couple of hours, they are not a match for me anyway.
I probably read about four or five books in the last week. Lots of time spent just playing with the pets or talking with Ryan and the other couple who is staying on the property. They are really into all this LOA, and personal development stuff, and we have amazing conversations.
In this space, you are going to probably feel like you are dropping the ball with your manifesting efforts, and you have to dive into exercises and ‘fix’ this problem with more work on yourself.
Here’s the thing..if reading a book or doing some technique feels really good, and it lifts your spirits, go for it. But, if it doesn’t, don’t force it…just pull back.
Since our mind is always poking its head in, we have a tendency to make manifesting a mental thing, and that is why we can get obsessed with exercises, programs and the like.
But, it is an emotional endeavor, and if you are feeling like crap, and doing all this ‘work’ while feeling like crap, it isn’t going to give you any sort of benefit.
You are better off watching a funny movie than making a vision board, sleeping than saying affirmations, petting your cat for 45 minutes than visualizing…trust me.
Again, I can’t stress the importance of pulling back enough. Getting what we want is all about being in alignment, and when we are feeling really out of it, the less we do, the more quickly we’ll be able to get back to that sweet spot.
Attraction is never about what we are doing, it is about who we are being.
Do I feel completely better? Honestly, no. There is still some residual energy that is lingering. But, there has been a major shift. I have definitely moved to a new level, and I am excited to see what happens as a result.
I have manifested so many great things, and as time goes on, my vision expands, and what I believe is possible for me does as well. There is going to be stuff that needs to be cleared out when we are really going for it.
When we have these periods where we are just being triggered again and again in a short period of time, it is simply a matter of moving things along more quickly, of getting things out of the way that maybe we have been pushing aside, or that were hampering us more than we realized.
It’s a really good thing because we get the chance to make some really big leaps. May not feel great at the time, but it is worth it. We just have to be willing to see the lessons, and roll with it as best we can.
We are always moving towards what we want, and if there is anything getting in the way, it needs to be brought to our attention, or we’ll have a really hard time getting it.
To get the happiness, peace and all those other warm fuzzies we so desire, we have to root out whatever is getting in the way–sometimes it can be a gentle process and sometimes not so much.
When it is the latter, just go with the sucky flow as much as possible..fighting it will only make it worse. It is actually a really awesome thing.
As crappy as I may have felt over these last couple of weeks, there was honestly a part of me that was kind of excited to be going through this because I know that I will come out on the other side with a higher vibe, greater clarity and less gunk holding me back.
Have fun with it..with all of it.
What did you think of this post? Have you ever experienced an avalanche of triggers? How did you handle it? How did it end up serving you? Are you still in the midst of one, and how are you doing? Do you have any tips for handling these rough patches where it seems to be coming at you from all sides?